![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/abovethelaw.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2025\/04\/darth-vader-alter-the-deal.gif?resize=640%2C358&ssl=1\" "\\"\\"")
Sorry for the spoilers on a 45-year-old movie.<\/p>\n
With that, every Gen Xer and elder Millennial Star Wars<\/em> fan learned that if you make a deal under duress with a retaliatory government official to save your business, you are a hopeless chump and will get systematically rolled. It was a raw demonstration of what happens when you negotiate with someone who doesn\u2019t believe in the concept of negotiation.<\/p>\n Biglaw firms striking deals with the Trump administration to \u2014 theoretically \u2014 \u201cprotect\u201d their firm or their clients from government interference, missed this lesson. These firms \u2014 Paul Weiss, Willkie, Skadden, Milbank (and potentially more to come) \u2014 now enter their Lando Era, watching the administration heap daily humiliation upon them while continually altering the deal to the firms\u2019 detriment. <\/p>\n Who could\u2019ve seen this coming except everyone?<\/p>\n Each firm technically struck a separate deal, but they all followed a basic structure. Purge diversity from the firm, vaguely commit to affirmative action for the dumbest FedSoc kids at on-campus interviewing, and commit tens of millions \u2014 most offering $100 million \u2014 in pro bono payola for Trump-approved causes. In exchange, the firms would be free to continue their work, unimpeded by onerous (if obviously illegal) executive orders and the firms can carry on claiming that they have settled without admitting wrongdoing (except Paul Weiss, who apparently specifically threw its former partner under a bus).<\/p>\n But the important thing each of these firms want you to know is that this was a professional deal among very serious people conducted at a very serious boardroom table and not, in fact, the legal equivalent of getting choked out mid-sentence. And that it\u2019s patently unfair that radical agitators \u2014 like, well, Above the Law \u2014 characterize these deals as \u201csurrender\u201d or \u201cbending the knee.\u201d No one seriously involved in these deals would say something like that! Let\u2019s check in on the OFFICIAL WHITE HOUSE TAKE<\/a>:<\/p>\n Karoline Leavitt, the White House press secretary, said in a statement that \u201cBig Law continues to bend the knee to President Trump because they know they were wrong, and he looks forward to putting their pro bono legal concessions toward implementing his America First agenda.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n The White House is the one saying \u201cbend the knee!\u201d Forget Star Wars<\/em>, this is some Game of Thrones<\/em> ass shit. It would still be missing the incest subplot, though this is the same president who once said that \u201cif Ivanka weren\u2019t my daughter, perhaps I\u2019d be dating her<\/a>,\u201d so\u2026 maybe it\u2019s closer than we thought. Democracies don\u2019t customarily talk in terms of collecting bannermen to fight their battles for them, and yet here we are. All we need to complete the medieval fantasy is the return of small pox though RFK Jr is already working hard on that one.<\/p>\n No matter how much these firms want to posture as though they made narrowly tailored, professionally negotiated agreements, the counterparty is using mainstream media time to dunk on them about how they renamed all the managing partners Reek and keep them locked in the White House basement.<\/p>\n Not to be outdone, here\u2019s what Trump thinks<\/a> of the \u201cadmit no wrongdoing\u201d status that firms THOUGHT they bought with the deal:<\/p>\n Have you noticed that lots of law firms have been signing up with Trump? $100 million. Another $100 million for \u2014 ah \u2014 damages that they\u2019ve done. But they give you $100 million and then they announce \u2018but we\u2019ve done nothing wrong.\u2019 And I agree. But what the hell, they give me a lot of money considering they\u2019ve done nothing wrong.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n If the administration had only set fire to the crucially important \u201cwe\u2019re innocent\u2026 this was just to avoid a distraction for our clients\u201d claim it would be bad enough. But now he\u2019s moving Leia to his ship. <\/p>\n In defending their deals, the firms have nurtured a press narrative that really<\/em> all they committed to do is perform a lot of pro bono work for veterans<\/a> \u2014 something that appeals to conservatives and liberals alike \u2014 in order to claim that this deal isn\u2019t all that radical.<\/p>\n Trump: “We have plenty of law firms. These are great law firms that we signed with. And I think part of the way I’ll spend of the money we’re getting from the law firms in terms of their legal time will be using these great law firms to represent us with regard to the many\u2026 pic.twitter.com\/FqwnhqUvQT<\/a><\/p>\n \u2014 Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) April 9, 2025<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n<\/figure>\n \u201cPart of the way I\u2019ll<\/em> spend some of the money we\u2019re getting from the law firms\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n That doesn\u2019t sound like the firms are going to just do $100 million in veteran health claims. <\/p>\n Trump has proposed using the free legal services that the firms thought they\u2019d committed to conservative-friendly \u2014 but that would nonetheless remain causes of the firms\u2019<\/em> choosing \u2014 to handle coal leases<\/a> for the administration\u2019s proposed CoalPunk AI revolution<\/a> and to negotiate tariff deals<\/a>\u2026 before he realized tariffs were tanking the economy. It\u2019s not just Trump speaking out of advanced dementia either, with Stephen Miller, who relishes his role as a Stormtrooper, echoing this sentiment<\/a> describing the deals as part of an initiative to bank a billion in free legal services. Meanwhile, a Heritage Foundation group has approached the surrender firms asking for free legal work and citing their Trump pledges<\/a>.<\/p>\n So far the law firms aren\u2019t acknowledging these alterations to the deal. But the White House remains very clear:<\/p>\n Trump says he will assign the law firms which cut deals with him to coal regulation cases. We asked the firms. None responded. But the White House did\u2026 “[Trump] looks forward to putting their pro bono legal concessions toward implementing his America First agenda”\u2026<\/p>\n \u2014 Sam Stein (@samstein) April 10, 2025<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n<\/figure>\n \u201cAssign.\u201d<\/p>\n GREAT WORK, IDIOTS!<\/p>\n And it\u2019s not going to end with coal leases.<\/p>\n BENCHSLAPPED: Trump-appointed Judge Tim Kelly slams DOJ\/US Atty’s Ofc DC for lackadaisical response to suit against Trump’s birthright citizenship executive order. Is DOJ buckling under the tsunami of suits? pic.twitter.com\/GSk4ekwmsg<\/a><\/p>\n \u2014 Josh Gerstein (@joshgerstein) April 9, 2025<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n<\/figure>\n The DOJ probably is buckling as every competent career attorney eyes the exit. But don\u2019t worry! This administration will absolutely \u201cassign\u201d one of the surrendering firms to start handling these matters. It probably will be a matter of days and not weeks. <\/p>\n And what are the firms gonna do about it? Other than privately mumble that \u201cThis deal is getting worse all the time!\u201d they\u2019re going to go along with it because they\u2019re already pot committed at this point. Reversing course now doesn\u2019t get them anything but an even harsher executive order that they\u2019ve already told the whole market they don\u2019t have the courage to fight.<\/p>\n These firms thought they were buying peace. What they bought was a public admission that they could be shaken down. And at every stage from here on, the terms will change. Because bullies don\u2019t honor deals. They escalate. You give them access to a tibanna gas mine, and next thing you know, they\u2019re freezing your friends in carbonite and conscripting you as the shadow Justice Department.<\/p>\n The deal was always going to end like this. From the first deal, we\u2019ve been saying it would end like this. Because we watched Empire Strikes Back<\/em> and as a kindergartner we understood what happens if you\u2019re stupid enough to make a deal like this.<\/p>\n Now all those firms have left is to pray Trump doesn\u2019t alter it any further. <\/p>\n Another spoiler for you: he will.<\/p>\n The post \u2018Pray I Don\u2019t Alter It Any Further\u2019: What Darth Vader Should Teach Law Firms About Settling With Trump<\/a> appeared first on Above the Law<\/a>.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve just made a deal that\u2019ll keep the Empire out of here forever,\u201d Lando Calrissian explained in The Empire Strikes Back. We soon realize his deal involved allowing Darth Vader to ensnare the Han and Leia as bait to lure Luke Skywalker. Once Vader had Luke, everyone could go their separate ways. Then Vader decided to hand Han Solo to Boba Fett and require Leia and Chewbacca to remain under arrest in Cloud City, while Lando grumbled, \u201cThis deal is getting worse all the time!\u201d A few beats later, Vader he\u2019d put Han on ice and ordered Leia and Chewy taken to his ship.<\/p>\n \u201cYou said they\u2019d be left at the city under my supervision!\u201d Lando exclaimed.<\/p>\n Sorry for the spoilers on a 45-year-old movie.<\/p>\n With that, every Gen Xer and elder Millennial Star Wars<\/em> fan learned that if you make a deal under duress with a retaliatory government official to save your business, you are a hopeless chump and will get systematically rolled. It was a raw demonstration of what happens when you negotiate with someone who doesn\u2019t believe in the concept of negotiation.<\/p>\n Biglaw firms striking deals with the Trump administration to \u2014 theoretically \u2014 \u201cprotect\u201d their firm or their clients from government interference, missed this lesson. These firms \u2014 Paul Weiss, Willkie, Skadden, Milbank (and potentially more to come) \u2014 now enter their Lando Era, watching the administration heap daily humiliation upon them while continually altering the deal to the firms\u2019 detriment. <\/p>\n Who could\u2019ve seen this coming except everyone?<\/p>\n Each firm technically struck a separate deal, but they all followed a basic structure. Purge diversity from the firm, vaguely commit to affirmative action for the dumbest FedSoc kids at on-campus interviewing, and commit tens of millions \u2014 most offering $100 million \u2014 in pro bono payola for Trump-approved causes. In exchange, the firms would be free to continue their work, unimpeded by onerous (if obviously illegal) executive orders and the firms can carry on claiming that they have settled without admitting wrongdoing (except Paul Weiss, who apparently specifically threw its former partner under a bus).<\/p>\n But the important thing each of these firms want you to know is that this was a professional deal among very serious people conducted at a very serious boardroom table and not, in fact, the legal equivalent of getting choked out mid-sentence. And that it\u2019s patently unfair that radical agitators \u2014 like, well, Above the Law \u2014 characterize these deals as \u201csurrender\u201d or \u201cbending the knee.\u201d No one seriously involved in these deals would say something like that! Let\u2019s check in on the OFFICIAL WHITE HOUSE TAKE<\/a>:<\/p>\n Karoline Leavitt, the White House press secretary, said in a statement that \u201cBig Law continues to bend the knee to President Trump because they know they were wrong, and he looks forward to putting their pro bono legal concessions toward implementing his America First agenda.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n The White House is the one saying \u201cbend the knee!\u201d Forget Star Wars<\/em>, this is some Game of Thrones<\/em> ass shit. It would still be missing the incest subplot, though this is the same president who once said that \u201cif Ivanka weren\u2019t my daughter, perhaps I\u2019d be dating her<\/a>,\u201d so\u2026 maybe it\u2019s closer than we thought. Democracies don\u2019t customarily talk in terms of collecting bannermen to fight their battles for them, and yet here we are. All we need to complete the medieval fantasy is the return of small pox though RFK Jr is already working hard on that one.<\/p>\n No matter how much these firms want to posture as though they made narrowly tailored, professionally negotiated agreements, the counterparty is using mainstream media time to dunk on them about how they renamed all the managing partners Reek and keep them locked in the White House basement.<\/p>\n Not to be outdone, here\u2019s what Trump thinks<\/a> of the \u201cadmit no wrongdoing\u201d status that firms THOUGHT they bought with the deal:<\/p>\n Have you noticed that lots of law firms have been signing up with Trump? $100 million. Another $100 million for \u2014 ah \u2014 damages that they\u2019ve done. But they give you $100 million and then they announce \u2018but we\u2019ve done nothing wrong.\u2019 And I agree. But what the hell, they give me a lot of money considering they\u2019ve done nothing wrong.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n If the administration had only set fire to the crucially important \u201cwe\u2019re innocent\u2026 this was just to avoid a distraction for our clients\u201d claim it would be bad enough. But now he\u2019s moving Leia to his ship. <\/p>\n In defending their deals, the firms have nurtured a press narrative that really<\/em> all they committed to do is perform a lot of pro bono work for veterans<\/a> \u2014 something that appeals to conservatives and liberals alike \u2014 in order to claim that this deal isn\u2019t all that radical.<\/p>\n \u201cPart of the way I\u2019ll<\/em> spend some of the money we\u2019re getting from the law firms\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n That doesn\u2019t sound like the firms are going to just do $100 million in veteran health claims. <\/p>\n Trump has proposed using the free legal services that the firms thought they\u2019d committed to conservative-friendly \u2014 but that would nonetheless remain causes of the firms\u2019<\/em> choosing \u2014 to handle coal leases<\/a> for the administration\u2019s proposed CoalPunk AI revolution<\/a> and to negotiate tariff deals<\/a>\u2026 before he realized tariffs were tanking the economy. It\u2019s not just Trump speaking out of advanced dementia either, with Stephen Miller, who relishes his role as a Stormtrooper, echoing this sentiment<\/a> describing the deals as part of an initiative to bank a billion in free legal services. Meanwhile, a Heritage Foundation group has approached the surrender firms asking for free legal work and citing their Trump pledges<\/a>.<\/p>\n So far the law firms aren\u2019t acknowledging these alterations to the deal. But the White House remains very clear:<\/p>\n \u201cAssign.\u201d<\/p>\n GREAT WORK, IDIOTS!<\/p>\n And it\u2019s not going to end with coal leases.<\/p>\n The DOJ probably is buckling as every competent career attorney eyes the exit. But don\u2019t worry! This administration will absolutely \u201cassign\u201d one of the surrendering firms to start handling these matters. It probably will be a matter of days and not weeks. <\/p>\n And what are the firms gonna do about it? Other than privately mumble that \u201cThis deal is getting worse all the time!\u201d they\u2019re going to go along with it because they\u2019re already pot committed at this point. Reversing course now doesn\u2019t get them anything but an even harsher executive order that they\u2019ve already told the whole market they don\u2019t have the courage to fight.<\/p>\n These firms thought they were buying peace. What they bought was a public admission that they could be shaken down. And at every stage from here on, the terms will change. Because bullies don\u2019t honor deals. They escalate. You give them access to a tibanna gas mine, and next thing you know, they\u2019re freezing your friends in carbonite and conscripting you as the shadow Justice Department.<\/p>\n The deal was always going to end like this. From the first deal, we\u2019ve been saying it would end like this. Because we watched Empire Strikes Back<\/em> and as a kindergartner we understood what happens if you\u2019re stupid enough to make a deal like this.<\/p>\n Now all those firms have left is to pray Trump doesn\u2019t alter it any further. <\/p>\n Another spoiler for you: he will.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve just made a deal that\u2019ll keep the Empire out of here forever,\u201d Lando Calrissian explained in The Empire Strikes Back. We soon realize his deal involved allowing Darth Vader to ensnare the Han and Leia as bait to lure Luke Skywalker. Once Vader had Luke, everyone could go their separate ways. Then Vader decided […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":114389,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-114423","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-above_the_law"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/xira.com\/p\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/Headshot-300x200-OWJ7qx.jpeg?fit=300%2C200&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/114423","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=114423"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/114423\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/114389"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=114423"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=114423"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=114423"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}\n
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\n![\"Headshot\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/abovethelaw.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/Headshot-300x200.jpg?resize=188%2C125&ssl=1\" "\\"\\"")
Joe Patrice<\/a>\u00a0is a senior editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer<\/a>. Feel free to\u00a0email<\/a> any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on\u00a0Twitter<\/a>\u00a0or Bluesky<\/a> if you\u2019re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news. Joe also serves as a Managing Director at RPN Executive Search<\/a>.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n
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\nJoe Patrice<\/a>\u00a0is a senior editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer<\/a>. Feel free to\u00a0email<\/a> any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on\u00a0Twitter<\/a>\u00a0or Bluesky<\/a> if you\u2019re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news. Joe also serves as a Managing Director at RPN Executive Search<\/a>.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"