{"id":119372,"date":"2025-05-16T16:03:31","date_gmt":"2025-05-17T00:03:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/2025\/05\/16\/mindshift-the-inner-work-of-sustainable-self-care\/"},"modified":"2025-05-16T16:03:31","modified_gmt":"2025-05-17T00:03:31","slug":"mindshift-the-inner-work-of-sustainable-self-care","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/2025\/05\/16\/mindshift-the-inner-work-of-sustainable-self-care\/","title":{"rendered":"Mindshift: The Inner Work Of Sustainable Self-Care"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"
<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Ed. note<\/u>: This is the latest installment in a series of posts on motherhood in the legal profession, in partnership with our friends at\u00a0<\/em>MothersEsquire<\/em><\/a>. Welcome Sonya L. Sigler back to our pages. Click <\/em>here<\/em><\/a> if you\u2019d like to donate to MothersEsquire.<\/em><\/p>\n

I used to think self-care was going to get a pedicure. Or taking a yoga class. Or maybe a quick journaling session squeezed in between client calls or kid activities.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Not that these activities can\u2019t be self-care, but I\u2019ve learned \u2014 often the hard way \u2014 that real self-care starts in your mind. It starts with a\u00a0mindset shift<\/em>, or as a mistyped mindshift<\/em>. It turns out,\u00a0mindshift<\/em>\u00a0may have been the better term all along \u2014 because self-care isn\u2019t just about adjusting your attitude; it\u2019s about shifting how you move through your day, your choices, and your internal dialogue.<\/p>\n

Before you can build habits that truly support your well-being, you have to change how you think about yourself, your time, and your needs. Otherwise, even the best wellness plans will fall apart the moment your calendar gets full (which it always does).<\/p>\n

What\u2019s Running In The Background?<\/strong><\/p>\n

I spent years over-functioning in every area of my life \u2014 lawyer, mom, volunteer, startup exec \u2014 because I was operating under some deeply ingrained beliefs I didn\u2019t even know were running through my mind. I was a fixer. A people-pleaser. A high-achiever. I believed saying yes made me valuable. Saying no made me selfish.<\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t until I found myself overwhelmed, isolated, and burned out \u2014 giving everything until there was nothing left \u2014 that I realized something had to shift.<\/p>\n

I had a powerful realization: \u201cNO\u201d is a complete sentence. You don\u2019t owe anyone an explanation for prioritizing your well-being.<\/p>\n

I also began to recognize and rewrite the voice in my head. The one that told me I\u00a0should<\/em>\u00a0be able to do it all. The one that made me feel guilty for resting. I learned to become my own best friend. Gradually, I changed the negative voice in my head to something more positive and encouraging. Often, that shift happened for me while running in the mornings \u2014 literally moving while mentally resetting.<\/p>\n

Learning to recognize what\u2019s running in the background for you, can help you make changes.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

From External Validation To Internal Alignment<\/strong><\/p>\n

One of the biggest mindset shifts in self-care is moving away from\u00a0how it looks<\/em>\u00a0and toward\u00a0how it feels<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Early on, I kept a journal for each of my kids. I wanted to write in those journals every Sunday. I beat myself up when I didn\u2019t. But when I finally sat down and read those journals, I realized the truth: it wasn\u2019t about how often I wrote. It was about the memories I captured. The love was there \u2014 even if the entries weren\u2019t weekly.<\/p>\n

I see this same pattern in the legal world. We attach our self-worth to achievement, perfection, and praise. We compare ourselves constantly \u2014 to colleagues, opposing counsel, and even social media highlight reels. But that \u201ccomparisonitis,\u201d as I call it, erodes our energy and leaves us feeling like we\u2019re always falling short.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s a reframe I use:
Instead of, \u201cI have to do this,\u201d try:\u00a0\u201cI\u2019m choosing to do this because it aligns with what matters to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Those small reframes can help us stay grounded in what is, rather than what \u201cshould\u201d be.<\/p>\n

Practice, Not Perfection<\/strong><\/p>\n

Self-care isn\u2019t a checkbox \u2014 it\u2019s a practice. A mindset you nurture. One of my favorite reframes is this: It\u2019s not about getting it right. It\u2019s about your intention.<\/p>\n

I found learning to be present a particularly difficult mindshift. I wish I\u2019d been better at being present when my kids were younger, instead of constantly worrying about work and the never-ending to-do list. But I\u2019ve learned to catch myself sooner. And I now know that\u00a0being present<\/em> \u2014 no matter how briefly \u2014 is a powerful form of self-care that can lead to better focus.<\/p>\n

When I first tried gratitude journaling, I made it to page three. As much as I love journaling, I realized writing about gratitude wasn\u2019t for me. Instead, I tried naming one thing I was grateful for as I went to sleep. This method worked for me, and now I am up to a more comfortable and workable practice of naming three things I am grateful for upon waking and as I go to sleep. This evolution took practice, not perfection, and more importantly, and finding a method that works for me.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Practice, not perfection \u2014 that\u2019s what self-care looks like when it\u2019s shaped by your mindset \u2014 not someone else\u2019s checklist.<\/p>\n

Closing Thoughts<\/strong><\/p>\n

Let me be clear: changing your mindset around self-care doesn\u2019t make you any less committed, capable, or professional. It makes you more resilient, focused, and intentional.<\/p>\n

This is especially important for legal professionals \u2014 more so for lawyer moms. Our field is built on perfectionism and performance. And society at large places even higher demands on moms. The saying goes \u2014 parent like you do not have a full-time job, but work like you do not have kids.\u00a0But no amount of achievement will protect you from burnout if you\u2019re running on fumes. California now includes CLEs in wellness for a reason. We\u2019re waking up to the truth:\u00a0well-being is part of our professional competence<\/em>.<\/p>\n

So here\u2019s your micro-action for today<\/strong>: Choose one mental loop to rewrite.
Maybe it\u2019s \u201cI don\u2019t have time for self-care.\u201d Try: \u201cTaking care of myself helps me do my job better.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

When you take care of yourself, you don\u2019t just protect your well-being, you protect your ability to serve, lead, and love with clarity and strength. It\u2019s like putting your oxygen mask on first before<\/em> helping others.\u00a0<\/p>\n

The most powerful self-care strategy I\u2019ve ever learned wasn\u2019t a new routine \u2014 it was a mindset shift.\u00a0<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re stuck in guilt, comparison, or perfectionism, know this: you\u2019re not alone. You don\u2019t need to do this perfectly. You just need to start noticing what\u2019s driving your choices \u2014 and gently shift the narrative for yourself.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s where sustainable self-care begins.<\/p>\n

This article is the second in a five-part series on self-care for legal professionals, in recognition of Mental Health Awareness Month. Up next: Alignment\u2014Self-Care that Reflects Your Values & Goals.<\/em><\/p>\n

\n

Sonya L. Sigler is a lawyer, author of\u00a0<\/em>30 Days to Better Self-Care, and wellness advocate who helps busy legal professionals build practical habits that support lasting success\u2014personally and professionally.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n

The post Mindshift: The Inner Work Of Sustainable Self-Care<\/a> appeared first on Above the Law<\/a>.<\/p>\n

\"\"
<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Ed. note<\/u>: This is the latest installment in a series of posts on motherhood in the legal profession, in partnership with our friends at\u00a0<\/em>MothersEsquire<\/em><\/a>. Welcome Sonya L. Sigler back to our pages. Click <\/em>here<\/em><\/a> if you\u2019d like to donate to MothersEsquire.<\/em><\/p>\n

I used to think self-care was going to get a pedicure. Or taking a yoga class. Or maybe a quick journaling session squeezed in between client calls or kid activities.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Not that these activities can\u2019t be self-care, but I\u2019ve learned \u2014 often the hard way \u2014 that real self-care starts in your mind. It starts with a\u00a0mindset shift<\/em>, or as a mistyped mindshift<\/em>. It turns out,\u00a0mindshift<\/em>\u00a0may have been the better term all along \u2014 because self-care isn\u2019t just about adjusting your attitude; it\u2019s about shifting how you move through your day, your choices, and your internal dialogue.<\/p>\n

Before you can build habits that truly support your well-being, you have to change how you think about yourself, your time, and your needs. Otherwise, even the best wellness plans will fall apart the moment your calendar gets full (which it always does).<\/p>\n

What\u2019s Running In The Background?<\/strong><\/p>\n

I spent years over-functioning in every area of my life \u2014 lawyer, mom, volunteer, startup exec \u2014 because I was operating under some deeply ingrained beliefs I didn\u2019t even know were running through my mind. I was a fixer. A people-pleaser. A high-achiever. I believed saying yes made me valuable. Saying no made me selfish.<\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t until I found myself overwhelmed, isolated, and burned out \u2014 giving everything until there was nothing left \u2014 that I realized something had to shift.<\/p>\n

I had a powerful realization: \u201cNO\u201d is a complete sentence. You don\u2019t owe anyone an explanation for prioritizing your well-being.<\/p>\n

I also began to recognize and rewrite the voice in my head. The one that told me I\u00a0should<\/em>\u00a0be able to do it all. The one that made me feel guilty for resting. I learned to become my own best friend. Gradually, I changed the negative voice in my head to something more positive and encouraging. Often, that shift happened for me while running in the mornings \u2014 literally moving while mentally resetting.<\/p>\n

Learning to recognize what\u2019s running in the background for you, can help you make changes.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

From External Validation To Internal Alignment<\/strong><\/p>\n

One of the biggest mindset shifts in self-care is moving away from\u00a0how it looks<\/em>\u00a0and toward\u00a0how it feels<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Early on, I kept a journal for each of my kids. I wanted to write in those journals every Sunday. I beat myself up when I didn\u2019t. But when I finally sat down and read those journals, I realized the truth: it wasn\u2019t about how often I wrote. It was about the memories I captured. The love was there \u2014 even if the entries weren\u2019t weekly.<\/p>\n

I see this same pattern in the legal world. We attach our self-worth to achievement, perfection, and praise. We compare ourselves constantly \u2014 to colleagues, opposing counsel, and even social media highlight reels. But that \u201ccomparisonitis,\u201d as I call it, erodes our energy and leaves us feeling like we\u2019re always falling short.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s a reframe I use:
Instead of, \u201cI have to do this,\u201d try:\u00a0\u201cI\u2019m choosing to do this because it aligns with what matters to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Those small reframes can help us stay grounded in what is, rather than what \u201cshould\u201d be.<\/p>\n

Practice, Not Perfection<\/strong><\/p>\n

Self-care isn\u2019t a checkbox \u2014 it\u2019s a practice. A mindset you nurture. One of my favorite reframes is this: It\u2019s not about getting it right. It\u2019s about your intention.<\/p>\n

I found learning to be present a particularly difficult mindshift. I wish I\u2019d been better at being present when my kids were younger, instead of constantly worrying about work and the never-ending to-do list. But I\u2019ve learned to catch myself sooner. And I now know that\u00a0being present<\/em> \u2014 no matter how briefly \u2014 is a powerful form of self-care that can lead to better focus.<\/p>\n

When I first tried gratitude journaling, I made it to page three. As much as I love journaling, I realized writing about gratitude wasn\u2019t for me. Instead, I tried naming one thing I was grateful for as I went to sleep. This method worked for me, and now I am up to a more comfortable and workable practice of naming three things I am grateful for upon waking and as I go to sleep. This evolution took practice, not perfection, and more importantly, and finding a method that works for me.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Practice, not perfection \u2014 that\u2019s what self-care looks like when it\u2019s shaped by your mindset \u2014 not someone else\u2019s checklist.<\/p>\n

Closing Thoughts<\/strong><\/p>\n

Let me be clear: changing your mindset around self-care doesn\u2019t make you any less committed, capable, or professional. It makes you more resilient, focused, and intentional.<\/p>\n

This is especially important for legal professionals \u2014 more so for lawyer moms. Our field is built on perfectionism and performance. And society at large places even higher demands on moms. The saying goes \u2014 parent like you do not have a full-time job, but work like you do not have kids.\u00a0But no amount of achievement will protect you from burnout if you\u2019re running on fumes. California now includes CLEs in wellness for a reason. We\u2019re waking up to the truth:\u00a0well-being is part of our professional competence<\/em>.<\/p>\n

So here\u2019s your micro-action for today<\/strong>: Choose one mental loop to rewrite.
Maybe it\u2019s \u201cI don\u2019t have time for self-care.\u201d Try: \u201cTaking care of myself helps me do my job better.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

When you take care of yourself, you don\u2019t just protect your well-being, you protect your ability to serve, lead, and love with clarity and strength. It\u2019s like putting your oxygen mask on first before<\/em> helping others.\u00a0<\/p>\n

The most powerful self-care strategy I\u2019ve ever learned wasn\u2019t a new routine \u2014 it was a mindset shift.\u00a0<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re stuck in guilt, comparison, or perfectionism, know this: you\u2019re not alone. You don\u2019t need to do this perfectly. You just need to start noticing what\u2019s driving your choices \u2014 and gently shift the narrative for yourself.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s where sustainable self-care begins.<\/p>\n

This article is the second in a five-part series on self-care for legal professionals, in recognition of Mental Health Awareness Month. Up next: Alignment\u2014Self-Care that Reflects Your Values & Goals.<\/em><\/p>\n

\n

Sonya L. Sigler is a lawyer, author of\u00a0<\/em>30 Days to Better Self-Care, and wellness advocate who helps busy legal professionals build practical habits that support lasting success\u2014personally and professionally.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n

The post Mindshift: The Inner Work Of Sustainable Self-Care<\/a> appeared first on Above the Law<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ed. note: This is the latest installment in a series of posts on motherhood in the legal profession, in partnership with our friends at\u00a0MothersEsquire. Welcome Sonya L. Sigler back to our pages. Click here if you\u2019d like to donate to MothersEsquire. I used to think self-care was going to get a pedicure. Or taking a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":119357,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-119372","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-above_the_law"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/xira.com\/p\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/mental-health-wgM4DS.jpeg?fit=300%2C250&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/119372","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=119372"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/119372\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/119357"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=119372"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=119372"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=119372"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}