{"id":124916,"date":"2025-06-30T02:00:00","date_gmt":"2025-06-30T10:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/2025\/06\/30\/how-to-say-no-when-no-is-what-you-want-to-say\/"},"modified":"2025-06-30T02:00:00","modified_gmt":"2025-06-30T10:00:00","slug":"how-to-say-no-when-no-is-what-you-want-to-say","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/2025\/06\/30\/how-to-say-no-when-no-is-what-you-want-to-say\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Say \u2018No\u2019 When \u2018No\u2019 Is What You Want to Say"},"content":{"rendered":"

Merrilyn Astin Tarlton | Who knows why we do it, but most of us tend to say \u201cyes\u201d to things when we should say “no.”
\nThe post How to Say \u2018No\u2019 When \u2018No\u2019 Is What You Want to Say appeared first on Articles, Tips and Tech for Law Firms and Lawyers.<\/p>\n

Do a good job of saying \u201cno\u201d to things you don\u2019t want, and you\u2019ll get more chances to say \u201cyes\u201d to things you do want. Try these tips.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

\"how
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\"Getting<\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n

Who knows why we do it, but most of us tend to say \u201cyes\u201d to things when we ought to say \u201cno.\u201d You know the drill: Can you bring cupcakes to the party? Sure.<\/em> I\u2019m jammed, can you handle this TRO for me before 5 p.m.? Well, OK<\/em>. Come speak at our conference?\u00a0Of course!<\/em><\/p>\n

Before you realize it, your calendar is full through next August and you\u2019re feeling frustrated, used and quite<\/em> cranky.<\/p>\n

Tips on How to Say No<\/strong><\/h2>\n

You aren\u2019t<\/em> a starving puppy<\/strong>.<\/h3>\n

Pups eat everything put down for them, assuming there may never be any again. You are an intelligent and successful professional with ample opportunities. In fact, if you do a bang-up job of saying \u201cno\u201d to things you don\u2019t want, you\u2019ll probably get more chances to say \u201cyes\u201d to things you do want. Try these tips and your calendar<\/a> will be your friend again.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Be respectful. <\/strong>Listen carefully and don\u2019t interrupt the asker. Respect the person\u2019s request, then respect your right to decline.<\/li>\n
  2. Make it simple. <\/strong>Often, when we are trying on new ways of behaving, we overcompensate or are clumsy. Don\u2019t raise your voice, don\u2019t get upset, and for goodness sake, don\u2019t ask for permission or forgiveness. A simple well-modulated \u201cno\u201d followed by a \u201cthank you\u201d will do.<\/li>\n
  3. Don\u2019t feel you must explain or justify. <\/strong>Perhaps your reason for declining is personal or just something you don\u2019t wish to discuss with a stranger. Try \u201cI\u2019m not able to do that,\u201d or \u201cSorry, I can\u2019t help you,\u201d or \u201cNot this time, thank you.\u201d<\/li>\n
  4. Assign responsibility for your refusal to something else. <\/strong>\u201cThat sounds very nice. Unfortunately, my calendar is booked solid.\u201d Now it\u2019s your calendar\u2019s<\/em> fault. Silly calendar!<\/li>\n
  5. Stand firm. <\/strong>Avoid engaging in discussion or negotiation. If you know from the start that this is something you neither want nor need, but the requester pursues you, simply change the subject. Or say, \u201cI\u2019m sorry I have to go.\u201d Otherwise, you\u2019re in for a lengthy discussion and may, ultimately, be persuaded to accept against your better judgment<\/a>.<\/li>\n
  6. Refer, refer, refer. <\/strong>If it\u2019s a speaking engagement or another equally flattering request, but not really well-suited to your plans, suggest others who might fill the opening well \u2014 and then add, \u201cPlease say I sent you.\u201d (Might as well get some brownie points!)<\/li>\n
  7. Be very clear with yourself<\/em> about when to say \u201cno.\u201d <\/strong>If the request is something that will benefit you, those you care about, your colleagues, your social group, or a special cause, there is likely a reason to say \u201cyes.\u201d But how can you really know unless you know who and what you are working toward? Doing just any old speaking engagement is not smart business development. However, if you\u2019re a corporate employment lawyer and you\u2019re invited to address 200 senior human resources executives, then you\u2019ll want to find a way to make it work. Having a clear plan (business, family, social) will make it easier to decline invitations.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    If all else fails, use the multipurpose response<\/strong>.<\/h3>\n

    It works in nearly all situations. Smile a gracious smile and say, \u201cNot just now, thank you.\u201d<\/p>\n

    Illustration \u00a9iStockPhoto.com<\/small><\/small><\/p>\n

    Subscribe to Attorney at Work<\/h2>\n

    Get really good ideas every day for your law practice: Subscribe to the Daily Dispatch<\/a> (it\u2019s free). Follow us on Twitter @attnyatwork.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Merrilyn Astin Tarlton | Who knows why we do it, but most of us tend to say \u201cyes\u201d to things when we should say “no.” The post How to Say \u2018No\u2019 When \u2018No\u2019 Is What You Want to Say appeared first on Articles, Tips and Tech for Law Firms and Lawyers. Do a good job […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-124916","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-legal_matters"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/124916","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=124916"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/124916\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=124916"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=124916"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=124916"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}