{"id":136648,"date":"2025-11-10T14:27:58","date_gmt":"2025-11-10T22:27:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/2025\/11\/10\/first-rule-of-being-a-petty-ass-bitch-lawyer-is-you-do-not-go-on-instagram-and-talk-about-being-a-petty-ass-bitch-lawyer\/"},"modified":"2025-11-10T14:27:58","modified_gmt":"2025-11-10T22:27:58","slug":"first-rule-of-being-a-petty-ass-bitch-lawyer-is-you-do-not-go-on-instagram-and-talk-about-being-a-petty-ass-bitch-lawyer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/2025\/11\/10\/first-rule-of-being-a-petty-ass-bitch-lawyer-is-you-do-not-go-on-instagram-and-talk-about-being-a-petty-ass-bitch-lawyer\/","title":{"rendered":"First Rule Of Being A \u2018Petty-Ass Bitch\u2019 Lawyer Is You Do Not Go On Instagram And Talk About Being A \u2018Petty-Ass Bitch\u2019 Lawyer"},"content":{"rendered":"

America has no shortage of attorneys who are, in fact, petty-ass bitches. Most of them don\u2019t talk about it on social media. Which is how most of those petty-ass bitches avoid having to drag in a federal magistrate to adjudicate their contextual level of petty.<\/p>\n

\n

So if you know me in real life, you probably know that I am a petty-ass bitch. And one of my favorite things to do is drop a bunch of bullshit on opposing counsel\u2019s desk at like 4:45 on a Friday afternoon, and then be like, thanks so much. Have a great weekend!<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Attorney Katie Panzer posted a video explaining all this moments after zipping over some discovery requests in a discrimination dispute brought by her client against his former employer. Those requests did, in fact, arrive under a cover email that concluded, \u201cHave a great weekend!\u201d prompting defense counsel \u2014 who also know how Instagram works \u2014 to demand that she withdraw the discovery requests as promulgated for an \u201cimproper purpose\u201d under Rule 26(g). Well, technically, they called Panzer\u2019s co-counsel to demand the discovery requests withdrawn.<\/p>\n

Methinks there may be multiple petty-ass bitches involved.<\/p>\n

After the issue was appropriately returned to Panzer, she refused to withdraw. At that point, the defendant moved for sanctions and then Panzer moved for sanctions citing the frivolity of defendant moving for sanctions just to get out of responding to discovery and an \u201cattempt to embarrass, bully, and harass Ms. Panzer into withdrawing proper discovery requests.\u201d<\/p>\n

Magistrate Judge Daphne Oberg entered the chat and managed to produce 20 pages of content that boiled down to \u201cy\u2019all need to chill out.\u201d<\/p>\n

Does posting about being a \u201cpetty-ass bitch\u201d who serves \u201ca bunch of bullshit\u201d make those discovery requests objectively improper under Rule 26(g)? No. Of course not. Because if \u201ca bunch of bullshit\u201d rendered something presumptively improper, the whole enterprise of American litigation would collapse.<\/p>\n

\n

There is no question Ms. Panzer\u2019s Instagram post was unprofessional and imprudent. But Ms. Panzer\u2019s reference to the requests as \u201ca bunch of bullshit\u201d does not, on its own, establish the requests themselves are objectively improper or propounded for an improper purpose. Although it calls into question the subjective purpose of the discovery requests, it does not automatically establish an improper purpose under an objective standard of reasonableness. While the video must be considered in the totality of the circumstances, if the requests are relevant and proportional, it would be illogical to find them objectively improper on the grounds that counsel made ill-advised statements on social media calling them \u201cbullshit.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

While the court correctly evaluated the requests on their own merits, any honest textualist also understands that \u201ca bunch of bullshit\u201d does not necessarily make a qualitative claim. It\u2019s can be a bunch of stuff. Perhaps a bunch of annoying stuff to deal with. But not necessarily unimportant stuff. In this way, bullshit functions as the \u201csmurfy\u201d of our times. <\/p>\n

The court also wondered why complaining about discovery requests<\/em> on a Friday afternoon amounts to anything but performative pearl-clutching: <\/p>\n

\n

Where a party has thirty days to respond to such requests, the time of day and day of the week on which they are served has no practical effect on the burden or expense of responding. The fact that Ms. Panzer served these requests on a Friday afternoon did not objectively constitute harassment, cause unnecessary delay, or increase the cost of litigation\u2014even if Ms. Panzer intended them to.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Lodging requests doesn\u2019t mess with the litigation\u2026 it messes with litigators who can\u2019t compartmentalize. If a lawyer can\u2019t get a document on the way out the door and tell the difference between an emergency and a \u201cwait for Monday,\u201d that\u2019s on them. And if the purpose of sending these specific requests on a Friday was to needle lawyers known for that level of obsession-compulsion\u2026 it may be petty, but it\u2019s also very funny.<\/p>\n

That said, Judge Oberg did clarify that the Instagram post was sufficiently dumb that the defendant was justified in raising the objection, even if the objection was ultimately fruitless. And with that, both sanctions motions fell.<\/p>\n

However, Judge Oberg notified Panzer at the hearing that the court is \u201cconsidering imposing sanctions on her sua sponte under the District of Utah\u2019s local rules and the Utah Standards of Professionalism and Civility.\u201d Panzer has until November 4 to show cause why she shouldn\u2019t be sanctioned \u201cfor the reasons stated on the record.\u201d In other words, the post didn\u2019t make the discovery improper, but might still constitute sanctionable unprofessional conduct. <\/p>\n

As they say, the first rule of being a petty-ass bitch is:\u00a0you do not talk about being a petty-ass bitch. Which is also the second rule. The oft-forgotten third rule is do not let your appetite for petty drag your client into litigation over it. For the record, the rule for being on the other side of such behavior, is not to let it turn you into one too. <\/p>\n

Neither side seemed to follow their assigned rules here.<\/p>\n

(Opinion on the next page\u2026)<\/em><\/p>\n

\n

\"Headshot\"Joe Patrice<\/a>\u00a0is a senior editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer<\/a>. Feel free to\u00a0email<\/a> any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on\u00a0Twitter<\/a>\u00a0or Bluesky<\/a> if you\u2019re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news. Joe also serves as a Managing Director at RPN Executive Search<\/a>.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n

The post First Rule Of Being A \u2018Petty-Ass Bitch\u2019 Lawyer Is You Do Not Go On Instagram And Talk About Being A \u2018Petty-Ass Bitch\u2019 Lawyer<\/a> appeared first on Above the Law<\/a>.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n

America has no shortage of attorneys who are, in fact, petty-ass bitches. Most of them don\u2019t talk about it on social media. Which is how most of those petty-ass bitches avoid having to drag in a federal magistrate to adjudicate their contextual level of petty.<\/p>\n

\n

So if you know me in real life, you probably know that I am a petty-ass bitch. And one of my favorite things to do is drop a bunch of bullshit on opposing counsel\u2019s desk at like 4:45 on a Friday afternoon, and then be like, thanks so much. Have a great weekend!<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Attorney Katie Panzer posted a video explaining all this moments after zipping over some discovery requests in a discrimination dispute brought by her client against his former employer. Those requests did, in fact, arrive under a cover email that concluded, \u201cHave a great weekend!\u201d prompting defense counsel \u2014 who also know how Instagram works \u2014 to demand that she withdraw the discovery requests as promulgated for an \u201cimproper purpose\u201d under Rule 26(g). Well, technically, they called Panzer\u2019s co-counsel to demand the discovery requests withdrawn.<\/p>\n

Methinks there may be multiple petty-ass bitches involved.<\/p>\n

After the issue was appropriately returned to Panzer, she refused to withdraw. At that point, the defendant moved for sanctions and then Panzer moved for sanctions citing the frivolity of defendant moving for sanctions just to get out of responding to discovery and an \u201cattempt to embarrass, bully, and harass Ms. Panzer into withdrawing proper discovery requests.\u201d<\/p>\n

Magistrate Judge Daphne Oberg entered the chat and managed to produce 20 pages of content that boiled down to \u201cy\u2019all need to chill out.\u201d<\/p>\n

Does posting about being a \u201cpetty-ass bitch\u201d who serves \u201ca bunch of bullshit\u201d make those discovery requests objectively improper under Rule 26(g)? No. Of course not. Because if \u201ca bunch of bullshit\u201d rendered something presumptively improper, the whole enterprise of American litigation would collapse.<\/p>\n

\n

There is no question Ms. Panzer\u2019s Instagram post was unprofessional and imprudent. But Ms. Panzer\u2019s reference to the requests as \u201ca bunch of bullshit\u201d does not, on its own, establish the requests themselves are objectively improper or propounded for an improper purpose. Although it calls into question the subjective purpose of the discovery requests, it does not automatically establish an improper purpose under an objective standard of reasonableness. While the video must be considered in the totality of the circumstances, if the requests are relevant and proportional, it would be illogical to find them objectively improper on the grounds that counsel made ill-advised statements on social media calling them \u201cbullshit.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

While the court correctly evaluated the requests on their own merits, any honest textualist also understands that \u201ca bunch of bullshit\u201d does not necessarily make a qualitative claim. It\u2019s can be a bunch of stuff. Perhaps a bunch of annoying stuff to deal with. But not necessarily unimportant stuff. In this way, bullshit functions as the \u201csmurfy\u201d of our times. <\/p>\n

The court also wondered why complaining about discovery requests<\/em> on a Friday afternoon amounts to anything but performative pearl-clutching: <\/p>\n

\n

Where a party has thirty days to respond to such requests, the time of day and day of the week on which they are served has no practical effect on the burden or expense of responding. The fact that Ms. Panzer served these requests on a Friday afternoon did not objectively constitute harassment, cause unnecessary delay, or increase the cost of litigation\u2014even if Ms. Panzer intended them to.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Lodging requests doesn\u2019t mess with the litigation\u2026 it messes with litigators who can\u2019t compartmentalize. If a lawyer can\u2019t get a document on the way out the door and tell the difference between an emergency and a \u201cwait for Monday,\u201d that\u2019s on them. And if the purpose of sending these specific requests on a Friday was to needle lawyers known for that level of obsession-compulsion\u2026 it may be petty, but it\u2019s also very funny.<\/p>\n

That said, Judge Oberg did clarify that the Instagram post was sufficiently dumb that the defendant was justified in raising the objection, even if the objection was ultimately fruitless. And with that, both sanctions motions fell.<\/p>\n

However, Judge Oberg notified Panzer at the hearing that the court is \u201cconsidering imposing sanctions on her sua sponte under the District of Utah\u2019s local rules and the Utah Standards of Professionalism and Civility.\u201d Panzer has until November 4 to show cause why she shouldn\u2019t be sanctioned \u201cfor the reasons stated on the record.\u201d In other words, the post didn\u2019t make the discovery improper, but might still constitute sanctionable unprofessional conduct. <\/p>\n

As they say, the first rule of being a petty-ass bitch is:\u00a0you do not talk about being a petty-ass bitch. Which is also the second rule. The oft-forgotten third rule is do not let your appetite for petty drag your client into litigation over it. For the record, the rule for being on the other side of such behavior, is not to let it turn you into one too. <\/p>\n

Neither side seemed to follow their assigned rules here.<\/p>\n

(Opinion on the next page\u2026)<\/em><\/p>\n

\n

\"Headshot\"Joe Patrice<\/a>\u00a0is a senior editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer<\/a>. Feel free to\u00a0email<\/a> any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on\u00a0Twitter<\/a>\u00a0or Bluesky<\/a> if you\u2019re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news. Joe also serves as a Managing Director at RPN Executive Search<\/a>.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

1<\/strong> 2<\/a>Next \u00bb<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

America has no shortage of attorneys who are, in fact, petty-ass bitches. Most of them don\u2019t talk about it on social media. Which is how most of those petty-ass bitches avoid having to drag in a federal magistrate to adjudicate their contextual level of petty. So if you know me in real life, you probably […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":136637,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-136648","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-above_the_law"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/xira.com\/p\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/Headshot-300x200-5oMDEi.jpg?fit=300%2C200&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/136648","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=136648"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/136648\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/136637"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=136648"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=136648"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=136648"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}