{"id":139445,"date":"2025-12-19T15:03:51","date_gmt":"2025-12-19T23:03:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/2025\/12\/19\/avast-ye-mateys-republicans-introduce-bill-to-bring-back-pirates-to-fight-drug-cartels\/"},"modified":"2025-12-19T15:03:51","modified_gmt":"2025-12-19T23:03:51","slug":"avast-ye-mateys-republicans-introduce-bill-to-bring-back-pirates-to-fight-drug-cartels","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/2025\/12\/19\/avast-ye-mateys-republicans-introduce-bill-to-bring-back-pirates-to-fight-drug-cartels\/","title":{"rendered":"Avast Ye Mateys! Republicans Introduce Bill To Bring Back Pirates To Fight Drug Cartels"},"content":{"rendered":"

Mike Lee is a United States Senator, a former Supreme Court clerk, and a deeply unserious clown. Lee\u2019s new \u201cPatriots of the Caribbean<\/a>\u201d initiative \u2014 which sounds like a militia group that got lost on January 6 searching for its lost shaker of salt \u2014 seeks to help the Trump administration with its recent campaign to blow up random boats (and commit war crimes in the process<\/a>) by sending in a secret weapon.<\/p>\n

PIRATES!<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re wondering whether this is a bit, it is not. If you\u2019re wondering whether Lee understands how drug trafficking works, international law works, or reality works, the answer is also no.<\/p>\n

Lee\u2019s legislative brainfart \u2014 in which he\u2019s joined by House sponsor Rep. Tim Burchett \u2014 is the Cartel Marque and Reprisal Reauthorization Act<\/em>, dusting off the \u201cLetters of Marque and Reprisal\u201d power listed in Article I. n the 18th century, this meant authorizing private ships to harass enemy vessels during wartime. In 2025, it means handing a 4Chan message board of armed rednecks a treasure map where X marks a suspected drug lord.<\/p>\n

Why directly implicate the U.S. military in international law violations when you can outsource them to unaccountable dipshits with GoPros?<\/p>\n

Now, you might think that it\u2019s unfair to characterize Lee\u2019s policy as piracy. So here\u2019s Lee explaining<\/a>, \u201cNo, no, I really just mean pirates.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cPrivateers is what they\u2019re called,\u201d he said. \u201cLetters of marque and reprisal are authorized under Article 1, Section 8, Clause 10 of the Constitution.\u201d<\/p>\n

Lee said it\u2019s the same clause that gives Congress the power to declare war, but it also allows the legislative branch to issue letters of marque, \u201cauthorizing privateers, pirates essentially \u2026 to carry out acts of piracy.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

As former deputy secretary of state Brian P. McKeon pointed out<\/a>, \u201cAside from the fact that piracy is universally recognized worldwide as illegal (see also title 18 of the US Code), what a great idea Mike!\u201d The Paris Declaration of 1856 formally banned privateering, and while the United States never formally ratified the agreement, it has committed to abide by its principles as a matter of accepted international law. <\/p>\n

Undeterred by law or common sense, the Senator hopes with this bill to enlist some scalawags to assist Trump\u2019s anti-drug efforts. Does the Trump administration actually care about fighting drug trafficking? Of course not. It\u2019s not even been a whole month since Trump pardoned one of the most prolific drug traffickers in the federal prison system<\/a>. The sponsors of the bill also don\u2019t seem to understand how drug trafficking works, citing fentanyl for this policy<\/a> even though Venezuela isn\u2019t a source of fentanyl, but rather a cocaine supplier for Europe<\/a>.<\/p>\n

But Mike Lee sees an opportunity to save the sagging economy by juicing the exotic parrot market. <\/p>\n

If we\u2019re serious about looking for drugs, have we considered searching whatever office Mike Lee and his staff were in when they brainstormed sending Jack Sparrow to battle 21st century drug cartels? This isn\u2019t the first time Lee\u2019s talked about bringing back piracy. Some legislators champion universal health care or securing voting rights, by contrast every few years, like cicadas or rebooting the DC Universe, Lee proposes MOAR PIRATES to the delight of the likes of Elon Musk and Donald Trump Jr<\/a>. \u2014 two people who are also definitely not<\/em> psychologically stunted adolescents crafting policy on drug-fueled benders.<\/p>\n

The text of the bill doesn\u2019t limit these letters of marque to the seas, and Lee\u2019s office explicitly envisions this policy deputizing private actors to extrajudicially attack drug cartels \u201con land or sea.\u201d It should shock you not at all that Lee\u2019s piracy kick has long enjoyed the support of Erik Prince<\/a>, the founder of the infamous private military contractor Blackwater, channeling his inner Blackbeard. Private military contractors have been implicated in torture<\/a> while working directly under federal government supervision. Lee\u2019s proposal would untether these groups to do whatever they want and collect a reward whenever these blind squirrels gather a drug-laced nut. The government can shrug off human rights abuses that might arise along the way as none of its business because dead men tell no tales or testify in court.<\/p>\n

Which, of course, is why the world banned privateers in the first place. No one harbored any illusions that the practice amounted to anything but governments pawning off accountability by making deals with violent mercenaries. <\/p>\n

Frighteningly, Lee is sometimes floated as a possible Supreme Court nominee despite his constitutional insights amounting to turning over America\u2019s drug policy to Long Dong Sliver. No\u2026 wait\u2026 Long John<\/em> Silver. I always get that one confused with that other prominent figure in Supreme Court history<\/a>.<\/p>\n

\n

\"Headshot\"Joe Patrice<\/a>\u00a0is a senior editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer<\/a>. Feel free to\u00a0email<\/a> any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on\u00a0Twitter<\/a>\u00a0or Bluesky<\/a> if you\u2019re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news. Joe also serves as a Managing Director at RPN Executive Search<\/a>.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

The post Avast Ye Mateys! Republicans Introduce Bill To Bring Back Pirates To Fight Drug Cartels<\/a> appeared first on Above the Law<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Mike Lee is a United States Senator, a former Supreme Court clerk, and a deeply unserious clown. Lee\u2019s new \u201cPatriots of the Caribbean<\/a>\u201d initiative \u2014 which sounds like a militia group that got lost on January 6 searching for its lost shaker of salt \u2014 seeks to help the Trump administration with its recent campaign to blow up random boats (and commit war crimes in the process<\/a>) by sending in a secret weapon.<\/p>\n

PIRATES!<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re wondering whether this is a bit, it is not. If you\u2019re wondering whether Lee understands how drug trafficking works, international law works, or reality works, the answer is also no.<\/p>\n

Lee\u2019s legislative brainfart \u2014 in which he\u2019s joined by House sponsor Rep. Tim Burchett \u2014 is the Cartel Marque and Reprisal Reauthorization Act<\/em>, dusting off the \u201cLetters of Marque and Reprisal\u201d power listed in Article I. n the 18th century, this meant authorizing private ships to harass enemy vessels during wartime. In 2025, it means handing a 4Chan message board of armed rednecks a treasure map where X marks a suspected drug lord.<\/p>\n

Why directly implicate the U.S. military in international law violations when you can outsource them to unaccountable dipshits with GoPros?<\/p>\n

Now, you might think that it\u2019s unfair to characterize Lee\u2019s policy as piracy. So here\u2019s Lee explaining<\/a>, \u201cNo, no, I really just mean pirates.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cPrivateers is what they\u2019re called,\u201d he said. \u201cLetters of marque and reprisal are authorized under Article 1, Section 8, Clause 10 of the Constitution.\u201d<\/p>\n

Lee said it\u2019s the same clause that gives Congress the power to declare war, but it also allows the legislative branch to issue letters of marque, \u201cauthorizing privateers, pirates essentially \u2026 to carry out acts of piracy.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

As former deputy secretary of state Brian P. McKeon pointed out<\/a>, \u201cAside from the fact that piracy is universally recognized worldwide as illegal (see also title 18 of the US Code), what a great idea Mike!\u201d The Paris Declaration of 1856 formally banned privateering, and while the United States never formally ratified the agreement, it has committed to abide by its principles as a matter of accepted international law. <\/p>\n

Undeterred by law or common sense, the Senator hopes with this bill to enlist some scalawags to assist Trump\u2019s anti-drug efforts. Does the Trump administration actually care about fighting drug trafficking? Of course not. It\u2019s not even been a whole month since Trump pardoned one of the most prolific drug traffickers in the federal prison system<\/a>. The sponsors of the bill also don\u2019t seem to understand how drug trafficking works, citing fentanyl for this policy<\/a> even though Venezuela isn\u2019t a source of fentanyl, but rather a cocaine supplier for Europe<\/a>.<\/p>\n

But Mike Lee sees an opportunity to save the sagging economy by juicing the exotic parrot market. <\/p>\n

If we\u2019re serious about looking for drugs, have we considered searching whatever office Mike Lee and his staff were in when they brainstormed sending Jack Sparrow to battle 21st century drug cartels? This isn\u2019t the first time Lee\u2019s talked about bringing back piracy. Some legislators champion universal health care or securing voting rights, by contrast every few years, like cicadas or rebooting the DC Universe, Lee proposes MOAR PIRATES to the delight of the likes of Elon Musk and Donald Trump Jr<\/a>. \u2014 two people who are also definitely not<\/em> psychologically stunted adolescents crafting policy on drug-fueled benders.<\/p>\n

The text of the bill doesn\u2019t limit these letters of marque to the seas, and Lee\u2019s office explicitly envisions this policy deputizing private actors to extrajudicially attack drug cartels \u201con land or sea.\u201d It should shock you not at all that Lee\u2019s piracy kick has long enjoyed the support of Erik Prince<\/a>, the founder of the infamous private military contractor Blackwater, channeling his inner Blackbeard. Private military contractors have been implicated in torture<\/a> while working directly under federal government supervision. Lee\u2019s proposal would untether these groups to do whatever they want and collect a reward whenever these blind squirrels gather a drug-laced nut. The government can shrug off human rights abuses that might arise along the way as none of its business because dead men tell no tales or testify in court.<\/p>\n

Which, of course, is why the world banned privateers in the first place. No one harbored any illusions that the practice amounted to anything but governments pawning off accountability by making deals with violent mercenaries. <\/p>\n

Frighteningly, Lee is sometimes floated as a possible Supreme Court nominee despite his constitutional insights amounting to turning over America\u2019s drug policy to Long Dong Sliver. No\u2026 wait\u2026 Long John<\/em> Silver. I always get that one confused with that other prominent figure in Supreme Court history<\/a>.<\/p>\n

\n

\"Headshot\"Joe Patrice<\/a>\u00a0is a senior editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer<\/a>. Feel free to\u00a0email<\/a> any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on\u00a0Twitter<\/a>\u00a0or Bluesky<\/a> if you\u2019re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news. Joe also serves as a Managing Director at RPN Executive Search<\/a>.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

The post Avast Ye Mateys! Republicans Introduce Bill To Bring Back Pirates To Fight Drug Cartels<\/a> appeared first on Above the Law<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Mike Lee is a United States Senator, a former Supreme Court clerk, and a deeply unserious clown. Lee\u2019s new \u201cPatriots of the Caribbean\u201d initiative \u2014 which sounds like a militia group that got lost on January 6 searching for its lost shaker of salt \u2014 seeks to help the Trump administration with its recent campaign […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":139396,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-139445","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-above_the_law"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/xira.com\/p\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/Headshot-300x200-c3o42P.jpg?fit=300%2C200&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/139445","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=139445"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/139445\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/139396"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=139445"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=139445"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=139445"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}