{"id":142906,"date":"2026-01-29T16:55:37","date_gmt":"2026-01-30T00:55:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/2026\/01\/29\/alito-clerk-practicing-in-front-of-alito-wants-you-to-know-alito-is-the-greatest\/"},"modified":"2026-01-29T16:55:37","modified_gmt":"2026-01-30T00:55:37","slug":"alito-clerk-practicing-in-front-of-alito-wants-you-to-know-alito-is-the-greatest","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/2026\/01\/29\/alito-clerk-practicing-in-front-of-alito-wants-you-to-know-alito-is-the-greatest\/","title":{"rendered":"Alito Clerk Practicing In Front Of Alito Wants You To Know Alito Is The Greatest!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Louisiana Solicitor General and former Alito clerk Ben Agui\u00f1aga has a new piece<\/a> exploding<\/em> the widespread \u201cmedia smear\u201d of Justice Samuel Alito as \u201cunhappy,\u201d \u201caggrieved,\u201d and \u201cwronged.\u201d He doesn\u2019t link to anything \u2014 why bring receipts when calling out a supposedly vast media conspiracy? \u2014 but he\u2019s presumably responding to Joan Biskupic\u2019s December CNN article<\/a> describing Alito as an \u201cunhappy\u201d winner. Which was itself a continuation of a 2022 Slate piece by Dahlia Lithwick and Mark Joseph Stern<\/a> wondering why he\u2019s perpetually furious about everything. So, despite failing to show his work, Agui\u00f1aga\u2019s not wrong<\/em> about the general perception.<\/p>\n

Agui\u00f1aga\u2019s response? Alito eats Campbell\u2019s soup and doesn\u2019t make his clerks work weekends. Case closed, libs!<\/p>\n

But before we get to the substance \u2014 a word I\u2019m using generously here \u2014 it\u2019s worth noting that Agui\u00f1aga is Louisiana\u2019s Solicitor General and has a case before the Supreme Court asking the justices to make it harder for Black voters to elect representatives of their choice. The conservative majority \u2014 including Alito \u2014 appear ready to kick the Voting Rights Act in the genitals<\/a>, so it\u2019s not as though he needs a fawning tribute to influence the decision. That said, a guy with matters actively pending<\/em> before a justice he\u2019s publicly fellating in a Fox News article isn\u2019t an ideal look for the justice system.<\/p>\n

\n

Critics of Supreme Court justices frequently resort to unfair caricatures of those justices that, the critics hope, will generate clicks and likes.\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

\u201cClicks and likes?\u201d My brother in Christ, what exactly do you think YOU\u2019RE doing? A puff piece in Fox News hinting at a liberal media smear campaign? I will guarantee that drives more numbers than a long form CNN post the week between Christmas and New Year\u2019s. Even if it doesn\u2019t, it chases the only like and click it seeks from its audience of one.<\/p>\n

The whole exercise reeks of the Trump playbook, where everyone from CEOs to Nobel laureates heap praise on the boss. Trump\u2019s televised cabinet meetings feel like North Korean media these days. Alito has exhibited terminal Fox News brain for years<\/a>, so if someone wanted to get a complimentary message to the justice, Fox News would be a logical place to go. Has Alito become as cooked as the 47th President? Interesting question. As Trump might say, \u201cmany people are asking.\u201d<\/p>\n

Remarkably, Agui\u00f1aga doesn\u2019t even address the actual criticism it sets out to rebut. Reporters on the Supreme Court beat point out that Alito is increasingly snippy at oral argument and snarling in writing. Agui\u00f1aga\u2019s response that Alito is\u2026 nice to his clerks.<\/p>\n

\n

Some jurists are reputed to be harsh taskmasters. Not Justice Alito. Not only did he lighten our loads at all costs, but he also never raised his voice or directed displeasure toward us. That is not because we were perfect \u2014 one time I had to apologize for turning in a memo a day late, but he did not bat an eye. To the contrary, the justice took every opportunity he could to encourage us. I remember one particularly long memo battle that we fought and won. He could have walked off with the victory. But instead, he took time to give me a thoughtful thank you note for my assistance.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Yeesh. Whenever someone tries to launder Clarence Thomas\u2019s reputation, they at least<\/em> bring up how he knows the name of every janitor on staff. Alito just gets an extended anecdote dump about being cool with the Federalist Society sycophants he hand-picks as his personal assistants. Is the legal profession so broken that \u201cnot a monster to work for\u201d is a glowing compliment?<\/p>\n

Yes, it is. But I digress.<\/p>\n

Being pleasant to people who work directly for him has little bearing on whether he\u2019s consumed with rage at everyone else. There\u2019s nothing mutually exclusive about politely asking a clerk about weekend plans on Friday AND flying insurrectionist flags at your home<\/a> on Saturday. As another former Alito clerk noted<\/a> when distancing herself from her former boss over the flag business: you can believe someone is personally honorable while recognizing that their conduct has become indefensible.<\/p>\n

Magda Goebbels made excellent strudel, as they say. Which isn\u2019t to say Alito matches up with ol\u2019 Magda, as much as a reminder that anecdotes about private kindnesses don\u2019t make someone an honest broker. In some cases, being nice to the people you interact with directly goes hand in hand with being dismissive or even cruel to the people you don\u2019t. It\u2019s ideal to be nice all the time, but given a choice, I\u2019d rather a justice run their clerks through the Biglaw sweatshop wringer and still believe in the Fourteenth Amendment.<\/p>\n

Oh, and Alito is smart too!<\/p>\n

\n

The clerkship with Justice Alito was surreal in many expected ways. For example, the justice is incredibly smart. That is readily apparent from any opinion he writes or oral argument in which he grills counsel. So, too, behind the scenes: On more than one occasion, email chatter from him would go quiet, and then a flood of perfectly cited draft opinions would come streaming in. He did not need us.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Which, again, veers from the original point. But sometimes you can learn something when someone keeps redirecting like this. Is Agui\u00f1aga just trying to tell Alito that he really is a beautiful and unique snowflake who shouldn\u2019t retire just because the haters have got him down? It would explain why Agui\u00f1aga hears \u201cAlito is unhappy at work\u201d and replies with \u201che\u2019s such a brilliant humanitarian!\u201d It\u2019s not about Alito\u2019s mood at work, it\u2019s about girding him to stick it out. Just spitballing here, but maybe stick it out at least long enough for Agui\u00f1aga to build a resume that could fill that seat?<\/p>\n

Anyway, this whole kerfuffle is about Alito being pretty clearly annoyed in all the ways detailed in the Biskupic article, and the reason why \u2014 for my money \u2014 was pegged by Mark Joseph Stern back in 2022:<\/p>\n

\n

My theory of the case is essentially that they watched for decades while the court was center-right or moderate, or occasionally handed down liberal rulings, and the country largely accepted those decisions. The legal establishment accepted them. There was not a call generally to expand the court, and the court\u2019s approval ratings remained high. I think Alito and Thomas feel like they\u2019ve now won fair and square, they\u2019re in the driver\u2019s seat, they\u2019re issuing all of the decisions that they think are right, that they believe are certainly no more radical than same-sex marriage or abortion, and suddenly their approval rating is plummeting.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

When the Warren Court took unpopular stands, the public more or less thought the justices were taking principled stances. When Alito reverse engineers an assault on half a century of precedent, the public more or less sees it as a cynical power play. The Court\u2019s conservatives thought they\u2019d take down the world the Warren Court built and be greeted as liberators \u2014 to borrow from Dick Cheney \u2014 and are currently learning the same lesson Cheney did.<\/p>\n

Maybe he just needs a vacation. Perhaps some billionaire can offer him a luxury trip<\/a> where he can sit back, fly some flags<\/a>, and relax.<\/p>\n

\n

\"Headshot\"Joe Patrice<\/a>\u00a0is a senior editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer<\/a>. Feel free to\u00a0email<\/a> any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on\u00a0Twitter<\/a>\u00a0or Bluesky<\/a> if you\u2019re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news. Joe also serves as a Managing Director at RPN Executive Search<\/a>.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

The post Alito Clerk Practicing In Front Of Alito Wants You To Know Alito Is The Greatest!<\/a> appeared first on Above the Law<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Louisiana Solicitor General and former Alito clerk Ben Agui\u00f1aga has a new piece<\/a> exploding<\/em> the widespread \u201cmedia smear\u201d of Justice Samuel Alito as \u201cunhappy,\u201d \u201caggrieved,\u201d and \u201cwronged.\u201d He doesn\u2019t link to anything \u2014 why bring receipts when calling out a supposedly vast media conspiracy? \u2014 but he\u2019s presumably responding to Joan Biskupic\u2019s December CNN article<\/a> describing Alito as an \u201cunhappy\u201d winner. Which was itself a continuation of a 2022 Slate piece by Dahlia Lithwick and Mark Joseph Stern<\/a> wondering why he\u2019s perpetually furious about everything. So, despite failing to show his work, Agui\u00f1aga\u2019s not wrong<\/em> about the general perception.<\/p>\n

Agui\u00f1aga\u2019s response? Alito eats Campbell\u2019s soup and doesn\u2019t make his clerks work weekends. Case closed, libs!<\/p>\n

But before we get to the substance \u2014 a word I\u2019m using generously here \u2014 it\u2019s worth noting that Agui\u00f1aga is Louisiana\u2019s Solicitor General and has a case before the Supreme Court asking the justices to make it harder for Black voters to elect representatives of their choice. The conservative majority \u2014 including Alito \u2014 appear ready to kick the Voting Rights Act in the genitals<\/a>, so it\u2019s not as though he needs a fawning tribute to influence the decision. That said, a guy with matters actively pending<\/em> before a justice he\u2019s publicly fellating in a Fox News article isn\u2019t an ideal look for the justice system.<\/p>\n

\n

Critics of Supreme Court justices frequently resort to unfair caricatures of those justices that, the critics hope, will generate clicks and likes.\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

\u201cClicks and likes?\u201d My brother in Christ, what exactly do you think YOU\u2019RE doing? A puff piece in Fox News hinting at a liberal media smear campaign? I will guarantee that drives more numbers than a long form CNN post the week between Christmas and New Year\u2019s. Even if it doesn\u2019t, it chases the only like and click it seeks from its audience of one.<\/p>\n

The whole exercise reeks of the Trump playbook, where everyone from CEOs to Nobel laureates heap praise on the boss. Trump\u2019s televised cabinet meetings feel like North Korean media these days. Alito has exhibited terminal Fox News brain for years<\/a>, so if someone wanted to get a complimentary message to the justice, Fox News would be a logical place to go. Has Alito become as cooked as the 47th President? Interesting question. As Trump might say, \u201cmany people are asking.\u201d<\/p>\n

Remarkably, Agui\u00f1aga doesn\u2019t even address the actual criticism it sets out to rebut. Reporters on the Supreme Court beat point out that Alito is increasingly snippy at oral argument and snarling in writing. Agui\u00f1aga\u2019s response that Alito is\u2026 nice to his clerks.<\/p>\n

\n

Some jurists are reputed to be harsh taskmasters. Not Justice Alito. Not only did he lighten our loads at all costs, but he also never raised his voice or directed displeasure toward us. That is not because we were perfect \u2014 one time I had to apologize for turning in a memo a day late, but he did not bat an eye. To the contrary, the justice took every opportunity he could to encourage us. I remember one particularly long memo battle that we fought and won. He could have walked off with the victory. But instead, he took time to give me a thoughtful thank you note for my assistance.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Yeesh. Whenever someone tries to launder Clarence Thomas\u2019s reputation, they at least<\/em> bring up how he knows the name of every janitor on staff. Alito just gets an extended anecdote dump about being cool with the Federalist Society sycophants he hand-picks as his personal assistants. Is the legal profession so broken that \u201cnot a monster to work for\u201d is a glowing compliment?<\/p>\n

Yes, it is. But I digress.<\/p>\n

Being pleasant to people who work directly for him has little bearing on whether he\u2019s consumed with rage at everyone else. There\u2019s nothing mutually exclusive about politely asking a clerk about weekend plans on Friday AND flying insurrectionist flags at your home<\/a> on Saturday. As another former Alito clerk noted<\/a> when distancing herself from her former boss over the flag business: you can believe someone is personally honorable while recognizing that their conduct has become indefensible.<\/p>\n

Magda Goebbels made excellent strudel, as they say. Which isn\u2019t to say Alito matches up with ol\u2019 Magda, as much as a reminder that anecdotes about private kindnesses don\u2019t make someone an honest broker. In some cases, being nice to the people you interact with directly goes hand in hand with being dismissive or even cruel to the people you don\u2019t. It\u2019s ideal to be nice all the time, but given a choice, I\u2019d rather a justice run their clerks through the Biglaw sweatshop wringer and still believe in the Fourteenth Amendment.<\/p>\n

Oh, and Alito is smart too!<\/p>\n

\n

The clerkship with Justice Alito was surreal in many expected ways. For example, the justice is incredibly smart. That is readily apparent from any opinion he writes or oral argument in which he grills counsel. So, too, behind the scenes: On more than one occasion, email chatter from him would go quiet, and then a flood of perfectly cited draft opinions would come streaming in. He did not need us.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Which, again, veers from the original point. But sometimes you can learn something when someone keeps redirecting like this. Is Agui\u00f1aga just trying to tell Alito that he really is a beautiful and unique snowflake who shouldn\u2019t retire just because the haters have got him down? It would explain why Agui\u00f1aga hears \u201cAlito is unhappy at work\u201d and replies with \u201che\u2019s such a brilliant humanitarian!\u201d It\u2019s not about Alito\u2019s mood at work, it\u2019s about girding him to stick it out. Just spitballing here, but maybe stick it out at least long enough for Agui\u00f1aga to build a resume that could fill that seat?<\/p>\n

Anyway, this whole kerfuffle is about Alito being pretty clearly annoyed in all the ways detailed in the Biskupic article, and the reason why \u2014 for my money \u2014 was pegged by Mark Joseph Stern back in 2022:<\/p>\n

\n

My theory of the case is essentially that they watched for decades while the court was center-right or moderate, or occasionally handed down liberal rulings, and the country largely accepted those decisions. The legal establishment accepted them. There was not a call generally to expand the court, and the court\u2019s approval ratings remained high. I think Alito and Thomas feel like they\u2019ve now won fair and square, they\u2019re in the driver\u2019s seat, they\u2019re issuing all of the decisions that they think are right, that they believe are certainly no more radical than same-sex marriage or abortion, and suddenly their approval rating is plummeting.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

When the Warren Court took unpopular stands, the public more or less thought the justices were taking principled stances. When Alito reverse engineers an assault on half a century of precedent, the public more or less sees it as a cynical power play. The Court\u2019s conservatives thought they\u2019d take down the world the Warren Court built and be greeted as liberators \u2014 to borrow from Dick Cheney \u2014 and are currently learning the same lesson Cheney did.<\/p>\n

Maybe he just needs a vacation. Perhaps some billionaire can offer him a luxury trip<\/a> where he can sit back, fly some flags<\/a>, and relax.<\/p>\n

\n

\"Headshot\"Joe Patrice<\/a>\u00a0is a senior editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer<\/a>. Feel free to\u00a0email<\/a> any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on\u00a0Twitter<\/a>\u00a0or Bluesky<\/a> if you\u2019re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news. Joe also serves as a Managing Director at RPN Executive Search<\/a>.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

The post Alito Clerk Practicing In Front Of Alito Wants You To Know Alito Is The Greatest!<\/a> appeared first on Above the Law<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Louisiana Solicitor General and former Alito clerk Ben Agui\u00f1aga has a new piece exploding the widespread \u201cmedia smear\u201d of Justice Samuel Alito as \u201cunhappy,\u201d \u201caggrieved,\u201d and \u201cwronged.\u201d He doesn\u2019t link to anything \u2014 why bring receipts when calling out a supposedly vast media conspiracy? \u2014 but he\u2019s presumably responding to Joan Biskupic\u2019s December CNN article […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-142906","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-above_the_law"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/142906","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=142906"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/142906\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=142906"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=142906"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=142906"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}