Iran\u2019s a bad place.\u00a0They\u2019re building nuclear weapons.\u00a0We had to bomb them a few months back, and the country is still dangerous.\u00a0I put all those warships in the Middle East so that Iran would cave to us in negotiations, but the country is still playing hardball.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s almost like they\u2019re religious fanatics who aren\u2019t listening to me.<\/p>\n
What\u2019s that?\u00a0Phone call from Bibi?<\/p>\n
Yeah, yeah.\u00a0I know you want to destroy Iran, but I don\u2019t want any forever wars.<\/p>\n
What\u2019s that?\u00a0Phone call from MBS?<\/p>\n
You want to bomb them, too?\u00a0Can you invest any more money in the United States, so I can show that my trade policies are working?\u00a0Great.\u00a0You\u2019ve also only given $2 billion to Jared; could you invest a little more with him?<\/p>\n
Gee.\u00a0Both those guys want me to bomb Iran. And those guys are real leaders:\u00a0Criminals.\u00a0Murderers.\u00a0My kind of guys.\u00a0Not like those law-abiding weenies in Europe.<\/p>\n
What?\u00a0Another call from Bibi?<\/p>\n
All the Iranian leadership will be in one place tomorrow morning?\u00a0We could kill dozens of them at once?\u00a0We might never have another opportunity to do this?<\/p>\n
Hell, I don\u2019t want to bomb them.<\/p>\n
But we can kill a bunch of them.\u00a0And everyone would think that I\u2019m a hero.<\/p>\n
I\u00a0would<\/em>\u00a0be a hero.<\/p>\n The chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff keeps telling me that the Iranians will retaliate if we attack.\u00a0They\u2019ll close the Strait of Hormuz.<\/p>\n I don\u2019t care if they close the Strait of Vermouth.\u00a0I\u2019m not a drinker, anyway.<\/p>\n We kidnapped one guy from Venezuela, and the whole country surrendered.\u00a0If we bomb the hell out of Iran, and kill a bunch of leaders, Iran will surrender, too.<\/p>\n They\u2019ll surrender quickly.\u00a0Before they can close that damn strait.<\/p>\n The chairman also tells me about that enriched uranium in Iran.<\/p>\n He talks about the possibility of our bombing destroying the government.\u00a0With no government, there could be sectarian violence. Sectarian violence could be a problem with all that uranium lying around.<\/p>\n The chairman is such a fool. I\u2019ve never heard of secretaries getting violent. We\u2019ll bomb Iran and the secretaries will go back to their typing. No problem.<\/p>\n Not only that. Once we bomb the hell out of Iran, the new leaders will come back to the negotiating table. That\u2019ll be great. We\u2019ll be strong, and the new leaders will be weak. They\u2019ll agree to move all the enriched uranium out of the country and to stop their enrichment program.<\/p>\n I\u2019ll have achieved more than Obama ever did.<\/p>\n Obama. All that guy ever did was play golf, the lazy S.O.B.<\/p>\n He was a low-IQ guy.<\/p>\n This is gonna be great.<\/p>\n Bomb Iran. Change the regime. Get rid of the uranium. It\u2019ll probably take a day or two.<\/p>\n No problem.<\/p>\n Hit \u2019em hard, general!<\/p>\n Show \u2019em who\u2019s boss.<\/p>\n Mark\u00a0Herrmann\u00a0spent 17 years as a partner at a leading international law firm and later oversaw litigation, compliance and employment matters at a large international company. He is the author of\u00a0<\/em><\/strong>The Curmudgeon\u2019s Guide to Practicing Law<\/em><\/strong><\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0<\/em><\/strong>Drug and Device Product Liability Litigation Strategy<\/em><\/strong><\/a>\u00a0(affiliate links). You can reach him by email at\u00a0<\/em><\/strong>inhouse@abovethelaw.com<\/em><\/strong><\/a>.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n The post I Am Trump\u2019s Brain<\/a> appeared first on Above the Law<\/a>.<\/p>\n Iran\u2019s a bad place.\u00a0They\u2019re building nuclear weapons.\u00a0We had to bomb them a few months back, and the country is still dangerous.\u00a0I put all those warships in the Middle East so that Iran would cave to us in negotiations, but the country is still playing hardball.<\/p>\n It\u2019s almost like they\u2019re religious fanatics who aren\u2019t listening to me.<\/p>\n What\u2019s that?\u00a0Phone call from Bibi?<\/p>\n Yeah, yeah.\u00a0I know you want to destroy Iran, but I don\u2019t want any forever wars.<\/p>\n What\u2019s that?\u00a0Phone call from MBS?<\/p>\n You want to bomb them, too?\u00a0Can you invest any more money in the United States, so I can show that my trade policies are working?\u00a0Great.\u00a0You\u2019ve also only given $2 billion to Jared; could you invest a little more with him?<\/p>\n Gee.\u00a0Both those guys want me to bomb Iran. And those guys are real leaders:\u00a0Criminals.\u00a0Murderers.\u00a0My kind of guys.\u00a0Not like those law-abiding weenies in Europe.<\/p>\n What?\u00a0Another call from Bibi?<\/p>\n All the Iranian leadership will be in one place tomorrow morning?\u00a0We could kill dozens of them at once?\u00a0We might never have another opportunity to do this?<\/p>\n Hell, I don\u2019t want to bomb them.<\/p>\n But we can kill a bunch of them.\u00a0And everyone would think that I\u2019m a hero.<\/p>\n I\u00a0would<\/em>\u00a0be a hero.<\/p>\n The chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff keeps telling me that the Iranians will retaliate if we attack.\u00a0They\u2019ll close the Strait of Hormuz.<\/p>\n I don\u2019t care if they close the Strait of Vermouth.\u00a0I\u2019m not a drinker, anyway.<\/p>\n We kidnapped one guy from Venezuela, and the whole country surrendered.\u00a0If we bomb the hell out of Iran, and kill a bunch of leaders, Iran will surrender, too.<\/p>\n They\u2019ll surrender quickly.\u00a0Before they can close that damn strait.<\/p>\n The chairman also tells me about that enriched uranium in Iran.<\/p>\n He talks about the possibility of our bombing destroying the government.\u00a0With no government, there could be sectarian violence. Sectarian violence could be a problem with all that uranium lying around.<\/p>\n The chairman is such a fool. I\u2019ve never heard of secretaries getting violent. We\u2019ll bomb Iran and the secretaries will go back to their typing. No problem.<\/p>\n Not only that. Once we bomb the hell out of Iran, the new leaders will come back to the negotiating table. That\u2019ll be great. We\u2019ll be strong, and the new leaders will be weak. They\u2019ll agree to move all the enriched uranium out of the country and to stop their enrichment program.<\/p>\n I\u2019ll have achieved more than Obama ever did.<\/p>\n Obama. All that guy ever did was play golf, the lazy S.O.B.<\/p>\n He was a low-IQ guy.<\/p>\n This is gonna be great.<\/p>\n Bomb Iran. Change the regime. Get rid of the uranium. It\u2019ll probably take a day or two.<\/p>\n No problem.<\/p>\n Hit \u2019em hard, general!<\/p>\n Show \u2019em who\u2019s boss.<\/p>\n Mark\u00a0Herrmann\u00a0spent 17 years as a partner at a leading international law firm and later oversaw litigation, compliance and employment matters at a large international company. He is the author of\u00a0<\/em><\/strong>The Curmudgeon\u2019s Guide to Practicing Law<\/em><\/strong><\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0<\/em><\/strong>Drug and Device Product Liability Litigation Strategy<\/em><\/strong><\/a>\u00a0(affiliate links). You can reach him by email at\u00a0<\/em><\/strong>inhouse@abovethelaw.com<\/em><\/strong><\/a>.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n The post I Am Trump\u2019s Brain<\/a> appeared first on Above the Law<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Iran\u2019s a bad place.\u00a0They\u2019re building nuclear weapons.\u00a0We had to bomb them a few months back, and the country is still dangerous.\u00a0I put all those warships in the Middle East so that Iran would cave to us in negotiations, but the country is still playing hardball. It\u2019s almost like they\u2019re religious fanatics who aren\u2019t listening to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-146905","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-above_the_law"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/146905","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=146905"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/146905\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=146905"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=146905"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=146905"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\n
\n