{"id":147022,"date":"2026-03-24T15:01:41","date_gmt":"2026-03-24T23:01:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/2026\/03\/24\/trump-lawyers-battle-in-americas-most-disbarrable-pageant\/"},"modified":"2026-03-24T15:01:41","modified_gmt":"2026-03-24T23:01:41","slug":"trump-lawyers-battle-in-americas-most-disbarrable-pageant","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/2026\/03\/24\/trump-lawyers-battle-in-americas-most-disbarrable-pageant\/","title":{"rendered":"Trump Lawyers Battle In \u2018America\u2019s Most Disbarrable\u2019 Pageant"},"content":{"rendered":"

The opening weekend of our annual tournament is in the books, delivering some close calls and even an upset! For those who missed it, we set up a small bracket challenge, in the spirit of March Madness, to determine which Trump lawyer most deserves to lose their law license. Administration lawyers have\u00a0lied or otherwise misled tribunals across the country<\/a>,\u00a0defied or encouraged defying court orders<\/a>,\u00a0breached basic rules of prosecutorial responsibility<\/a>, and more. <\/p>\n

There is no mechanism to probe and punish this behavior except for state bar authorities to implicate the law licenses<\/a> of these attorneys for breaching rules of professional responsibility. It may well be that nothing can halt this bad behavior, but there\u2019s a chance that throwing a wrench in their plans for a lucrative revolving door private sector legal job could give them pause. Or at the very least protect the public going forward.<\/p>\n

So, as the first round of our little tournament concludes, we say goodbye to half the field. But remember that it\u2019s not whether you win or lose, but what we learn about their colorably unethical conduct along the way!<\/p>\n

ROY COHN REGION<\/strong><\/p>\n

1 Pam Bondi v. 4 James Percival<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"
<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

No surprises here as the top seeded Attorney General rolls over Homeland Security\u2019s General Counsel. Percival likely raked up a handful of votes, from those who believe that the DOJ \u2014 whatever its faults \u2014 has not acted with the level of brazen lawlessness that DHS has. It\u2019s a fair argument, but, like most of the legal arguments advanced by DHS, it failed to carry the day.<\/p>\n

2 Ed Martin v. 3 Brendan Carr<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"
<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

By less than a hundred votes, FCC Chair Brendan Carr upsets Ed Martin! An epic takedown because Martin came into the tournament with a truly impressive resume, having used his authority to drop charges against his own former client<\/a> and issue threats where he admitted no criminal liability existed<\/a>. He\u2019s also the only participant in the pool that even the DOJ felt necessary to remove from his position based on an internal investigation<\/a>. But in a battle of guys extra thirsty for media attention, Martin\u2019s excesses couldn\u2019t move the needle like Carr\u2019s. Carr is firing off legal threats to sink Jimmy Kimmel for making jokes about Trump and threatening news organizations for accurately reporting on the Iran war. Can he pull off another upset?<\/p>\n

RUDY GIULIANI REGION<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

1 Lindsey Halligan v. 4 Drew Ensign<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"
<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

In a battle of malicious incompetence vs. malicious competence, incompetence won. Halligan beclowned herself as the phony U.S. Attorney for the Eastern District of Virginia, launching dubious investigations into the president\u2019s enemies and then screwing them up so badly that they all got tossed<\/a>. A federal judge told her she wasn\u2019t legally in the job<\/a> and she kept showing up to work anyway<\/a> until yet another judge told her to go home<\/a>. Meanwhile, Ensign has conducted himself superficially normally in court while advancing the administration\u2019s least defensible positions, including telling a judge that he didn\u2019t know about deportation flights when a whistleblower places him at the very meeting discussing those flights<\/a>.<\/p>\n

2 Alina Habba v. 3 Steven Vandervelden<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"
<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Arguably the scariest 2 seed in the tournament, Habba was overdue for a disciplinary review before illegally squatting in the New Jersey U.S. Attorney job. A federal judge imposed $1 million in sanctions<\/a> against the former parking garage lawyer as part of Trump\u2019s legal team in the frivolous RICO claim against Hillary Clinton. Her stint as NJ\u2019s top federal prosecutor also ended with a judicial benchslap. Vandervelden, meanwhile, can return to his photography business and forget his disastrous attempt to come out of retirement<\/a> to prosecute lawmakers for accurately describing law.<\/p>\n

JOHN EASTMAN REGION<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

1 Todd Blanche v. 4 David Warrington<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"
<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Another crush for the DOJ\u2019s senior leadership. Blanche rolled over the competition like it was threatening Jeffrey Epstein, the infamous pedophile that Todd Blanche is working overtime to protect<\/a>, despite the explicit text of a congressional statute. Warrington has really done an amazing job of staying below the radar given that his official role as White House counsel puts him at the center of every legal debacle across the administration. But it\u2019s time for Warrington to go home, just like all the January 6 rioters that he got pardoned<\/a>. With this loss, ASS Law is now out of the tournament. <\/p>\n

2 Jeanine Pirro v. 4 Kash Patel<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"
<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Less than 20 votes separated these two. In the end, the only U.S. Attorney in the tournament who actually holds that job legally managed to clip the FBI Director. Pirro has managed to make a mockery of the time-honored maxim that a prosecutor can indict a ham sandwich by bringing cases so frivolous that grand juries take the unusual step of rejecting the bill out of hand. In one instance, Pirro managed to get a unanimous<\/em> rejection from a grand jury! Patel, meanwhile, is not acting as a lawyer these days, but he still must adhere to the rules binding the rest of us if he ever hopes to practice. Ultimately, his not-technically-lawyering status may have kept him from moving on.<\/p>\n

STEPHEN MILLER REGION<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

1 Emil Bove v. 4 Harmeet Dhillon<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"
<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Bove technically left the administration when he became a Third Circuit judge, but since he continues to openly carry himself as a partisan representative of the administration<\/a>, he stayed in the bracket. As the former administration official who reportedly instructed DOJ lawyers to respond to court orders by telling federal judges \u201cf*** you,\u201d Bove didn\u2019t need a long tenure at DOJ to present a colorable case for disciplinary inquiry. Dhillon\u2019s work dismantling the DOJ\u2019s Civil Rights Division may be objectionable and run afoul of statutory edicts, but she\u2019s mostly spent her time in catty Twitter fights<\/a> hoping to generate more followers than misrepresenting the record in court. So this one felt inevitable.<\/p>\n

2 Chad Mizelle v. 3 John Sarcone<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"
<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The man who wants to recruit future AUSAs by having them slide into his DMs<\/a> slides into the next round. Mizelle left his role as DOJ Chief of Staff with\u00a0up to $250,000 in undisclosed conflicts of interest<\/a> involving companies the DOJ was actively suing or investigating, including Apple, Meta, and Visa. Sarcone, meanwhile, holds the distinction of being the only fake prosecutor on this list to continue pretending to hold his job. A federal judge this month kept an order in place<\/a> blocking Sarcone from issuing subpoenas to harass Trump enemies while the Second Circuit considers the legality of his appointment. <\/p>\n

We\u2019ll unveil the new matchup polls on Thursday, but in the meantime, here\u2019s where that puts our tournament right now.<\/p>\n

\"\"
<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The post Trump Lawyers Battle In \u2018America\u2019s Most Disbarrable\u2019 Pageant<\/a> appeared first on Above the Law<\/a>.<\/p>\n

The opening weekend of our annual tournament is in the books, delivering some close calls and even an upset! For those who missed it, we set up a small bracket challenge, in the spirit of March Madness, to determine which Trump lawyer most deserves to lose their law license. Administration lawyers have\u00a0lied or otherwise misled tribunals across the country<\/a>,\u00a0defied or encouraged defying court orders<\/a>,\u00a0breached basic rules of prosecutorial responsibility<\/a>, and more. <\/p>\n

There is no mechanism to probe and punish this behavior except for state bar authorities to implicate the law licenses<\/a> of these attorneys for breaching rules of professional responsibility. It may well be that nothing can halt this bad behavior, but there\u2019s a chance that throwing a wrench in their plans for a lucrative revolving door private sector legal job could give them pause. Or at the very least protect the public going forward.<\/p>\n

So, as the first round of our little tournament concludes, we say goodbye to half the field. But remember that it\u2019s not whether you win or lose, but what we learn about their colorably unethical conduct along the way!<\/p>\n

ROY COHN REGION<\/strong><\/p>\n

1 Pam Bondi v. 4 James Percival<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"
<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

No surprises here as the top seeded Attorney General rolls over Homeland Security\u2019s General Counsel. Percival likely raked up a handful of votes, from those who believe that the DOJ \u2014 whatever its faults \u2014 has not acted with the level of brazen lawlessness that DHS has. It\u2019s a fair argument, but, like most of the legal arguments advanced by DHS, it failed to carry the day.<\/p>\n

2 Ed Martin v. 3 Brendan Carr<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"
<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

By less than a hundred votes, FCC Chair Brendan Carr upsets Ed Martin! An epic takedown because Martin came into the tournament with a truly impressive resume, having used his authority to drop charges against his own former client<\/a> and issue threats where he admitted no criminal liability existed<\/a>. He\u2019s also the only participant in the pool that even the DOJ felt necessary to remove from his position based on an internal investigation<\/a>. But in a battle of guys extra thirsty for media attention, Martin\u2019s excesses couldn\u2019t move the needle like Carr\u2019s. Carr is firing off legal threats to sink Jimmy Kimmel for making jokes about Trump and threatening news organizations for accurately reporting on the Iran war. Can he pull off another upset?<\/p>\n

RUDY GIULIANI REGION<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

1 Lindsey Halligan v. 4 Drew Ensign<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"
<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

In a battle of malicious incompetence vs. malicious competence, incompetence won. Halligan beclowned herself as the phony U.S. Attorney for the Eastern District of Virginia, launching dubious investigations into the president\u2019s enemies and then screwing them up so badly that they all got tossed<\/a>. A federal judge told her she wasn\u2019t legally in the job<\/a> and she kept showing up to work anyway<\/a> until yet another judge told her to go home<\/a>. Meanwhile, Ensign has conducted himself superficially normally in court while advancing the administration\u2019s least defensible positions, including telling a judge that he didn\u2019t know about deportation flights when a whistleblower places him at the very meeting discussing those flights<\/a>.<\/p>\n

2 Alina Habba v. 3 Steven Vandervelden<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"
<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Arguably the scariest 2 seed in the tournament, Habba was overdue for a disciplinary review before illegally squatting in the New Jersey U.S. Attorney job. A federal judge imposed $1 million in sanctions<\/a> against the former parking garage lawyer as part of Trump\u2019s legal team in the frivolous RICO claim against Hillary Clinton. Her stint as NJ\u2019s top federal prosecutor also ended with a judicial benchslap. Vandervelden, meanwhile, can return to his photography business and forget his disastrous attempt to come out of retirement<\/a> to prosecute lawmakers for accurately describing law.<\/p>\n

JOHN EASTMAN REGION<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

1 Todd Blanche v. 4 David Warrington<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"
<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Another crush for the DOJ\u2019s senior leadership. Blanche rolled over the competition like it was threatening Jeffrey Epstein, the infamous pedophile that Todd Blanche is working overtime to protect<\/a>, despite the explicit text of a congressional statute. Warrington has really done an amazing job of staying below the radar given that his official role as White House counsel puts him at the center of every legal debacle across the administration. But it\u2019s time for Warrington to go home, just like all the January 6 rioters that he got pardoned<\/a>. With this loss, ASS Law is now out of the tournament. <\/p>\n

2 Jeanine Pirro v. 4 Kash Patel<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"
<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Less than 20 votes separated these two. In the end, the only U.S. Attorney in the tournament who actually holds that job legally managed to clip the FBI Director. Pirro has managed to make a mockery of the time-honored maxim that a prosecutor can indict a ham sandwich by bringing cases so frivolous that grand juries take the unusual step of rejecting the bill out of hand. In one instance, Pirro managed to get a unanimous<\/em> rejection from a grand jury! Patel, meanwhile, is not acting as a lawyer these days, but he still must adhere to the rules binding the rest of us if he ever hopes to practice. Ultimately, his not-technically-lawyering status may have kept him from moving on.<\/p>\n

STEPHEN MILLER REGION<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

1 Emil Bove v. 4 Harmeet Dhillon<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"
<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Bove technically left the administration when he became a Third Circuit judge, but since he continues to openly carry himself as a partisan representative of the administration<\/a>, he stayed in the bracket. As the former administration official who reportedly instructed DOJ lawyers to respond to court orders by telling federal judges \u201cf*** you,\u201d Bove didn\u2019t need a long tenure at DOJ to present a colorable case for disciplinary inquiry. Dhillon\u2019s work dismantling the DOJ\u2019s Civil Rights Division may be objectionable and run afoul of statutory edicts, but she\u2019s mostly spent her time in catty Twitter fights<\/a> hoping to generate more followers than misrepresenting the record in court. So this one felt inevitable.<\/p>\n

2 Chad Mizelle v. 3 John Sarcone<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"
<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The man who wants to recruit future AUSAs by having them slide into his DMs<\/a> slides into the next round. Mizelle left his role as DOJ Chief of Staff with\u00a0up to $250,000 in undisclosed conflicts of interest<\/a> involving companies the DOJ was actively suing or investigating, including Apple, Meta, and Visa. Sarcone, meanwhile, holds the distinction of being the only fake prosecutor on this list to continue pretending to hold his job. A federal judge this month kept an order in place<\/a> blocking Sarcone from issuing subpoenas to harass Trump enemies while the Second Circuit considers the legality of his appointment. <\/p>\n

We\u2019ll unveil the new matchup polls on Thursday, but in the meantime, here\u2019s where that puts our tournament right now.<\/p>\n

\"\"
<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The post Trump Lawyers Battle In \u2018America\u2019s Most Disbarrable\u2019 Pageant<\/a> appeared first on Above the Law<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The opening weekend of our annual tournament is in the books, delivering some close calls and even an upset! For those who missed it, we set up a small bracket challenge, in the spirit of March Madness, to determine which Trump lawyer most deserves to lose their law license. Administration lawyers have\u00a0lied or otherwise misled […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":147023,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-147022","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-above_the_law"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/xira.com\/p\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/Bracket-mlIBFd.jpg?fit=788%2C397&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/147022","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=147022"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/147022\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/147023"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=147022"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=147022"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=147022"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}