{"id":149844,"date":"2026-04-29T08:29:11","date_gmt":"2026-04-29T16:29:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/2026\/04\/29\/james-comey-indicted-for-playing-with-sea-shells-in-new-low-point-for-doj-integrity\/"},"modified":"2026-04-29T08:29:11","modified_gmt":"2026-04-29T16:29:11","slug":"james-comey-indicted-for-playing-with-sea-shells-in-new-low-point-for-doj-integrity","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/2026\/04\/29\/james-comey-indicted-for-playing-with-sea-shells-in-new-low-point-for-doj-integrity\/","title":{"rendered":"James Comey Indicted For Playing With Sea Shells In New Low Point For DOJ Integrity"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"
James Comey (Photo by Eric Thayer\/Getty Images)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

It\u2019s said that history repeats itself, first as tragedy, then as farce. When it comes to indictments, the Trump administration\u2019s Department of Justice has streamlined the process by skipping straight to farce and then somehow doing it twice.<\/p>\n

A federal grand jury in the Eastern District of North Carolina has indicted<\/a> former FBI Director James Comey for the high crime of arranging seashells. Specifically, posting a photo to Instagram<\/a> last May of shells on a beach spelling out \u201c86 47,\u201d captioned \u201cCool shell formation on my beach walk.\u201d The indictment levels two counts \u2014 making a threat against the president under 18 U.S.C. \u00a7 871(a), and transmitting a threat in interstate commerce under \u00a7 875(c).<\/p>\n

Because Comey arranges sea shells by the sea shore.<\/p>\n

This indictment arrives following the DOJ\u2019s faceplant late last year, when insurance lawyer Lindsey Halligan attempted to indict Comey for making false statements in the Eastern District of Virginia. Halligan, an illegal appointment with no more authority than a random person off the street \u2014 to use the federal judge\u2019s language \u2014 had been unlawfully appointed<\/a> on top of turning in a fake indictment the full grand jury never voted on<\/a>. This epic screw up resulted in the putative charges against Comey becoming time-barred<\/a>.<\/p>\n

That earlier indictment was bullshit. But at least it was serious-sounding bullshit. Going after Comey for lying about authorizing leaks seems like something a real prosecutor might charge.<\/p>\n

By contrast, the new indictment in the Eastern District of North Carolina lacks such gravitas. The government lodged criminal charges against the former FBI Director for using Prohibition-era slang for tossing an unwelcome guest\u2026 in shell form.<\/p>\n

If this wasn\u2019t stupid enough, the indictment manages to MISSTATE THE LAW in the indictment. Count I describes Comey\u2019s supposed crime as creating an image that \u201ca reasonable recipient who is familiar with the circumstances would interpret as a serious expression of an intent to do harm to the President of the United States.\u201d Any first-year law student who completed Crim Law \u2014 a competence bar EDNC US Attorney Ellis Boyle seemingly failed to clear \u2014 will note that the Supreme Court in Counterman v. Colorado<\/em> (2023), replaced the \u201creasonable recipient\u201d standard, requiring instead a showing the speaker subjectively understood that the statement would be perceived as threatening. Even if the indictment included the proper standard, the government would face an uphill battle since Comey deleted the post the same day, saying that he hadn\u2019t realized \u201c86\u201d had violent connotations \u2014 which it doesn\u2019t really, but whatever \u2014 and apologized. <\/p>\n

The second count, that Comey then distributed the threat, suffers the same defects as the first. <\/p>\n

But the genuinely unhinged part of the indictment appears on the next page. A forfeiture notice seeking \u201cany property, real or personal, which constitutes or is derived from proceeds traceable to the said offense.\u201d<\/p>\n

Do they want the shells? <\/p>\n

As many people learned from the Afroman case<\/a>, law enforcement\u2019s forfeiture powers are extensive and deeply corrupt. The language of the indictment flags the government\u2019s authority to seek \u201csubstitute assets\u201d in the event they can\u2019t actually find the supposedly ill-gotten gains. But even with broad latitude to steal from defendants, it\u2019s hard to imagine what the government expects to get out of James Comey. He\u2019s not a Kardashian \u2014 he\u2019s not paid thousands of dollars for posting viral vacation Instas. Perhaps this forfeiture language is copypasta the government mindlessly drops into every indictment. But given the cynical and petty nature of this Justice Department, it\u2019s hard to see this as anything but a threat to rob the former FBI Director.<\/p>\n

In some ways, it\u2019s fitting that the pursuit of Comey found its way back to the 8647 nonsense. When the image first appeared, current FBI Director (for now!) Kash Patel told America that he was prioritizing<\/a> protecting Trump\u2019s reputation over child sex predators. Or, more accurately, over catching<\/em> child sex predators. That\u2019s a key clarification or else the sentence doesn\u2019t actually make sense, does it?<\/p>\n

At least it\u2019s not all bad news for the Comey family. A federal judge let Maurene Comey\u2019s lawsuit<\/a> go forward. Now the administration is arguing in one court that they would never retaliate against the Comey family, while in another court prosecuting Jim Comey for a beach photo.<\/p>\n

Why did this loser of a case drop now? It\u2019s pretty simple: the DOJ wants to tie this shell picture from a year ago to the White House Correspondents\u2019 Dinner incident<\/a>. The administration needs to bootstrap as much on top of that story as it can before it fades from the headlines and bring attention back to topics like Todd Blanche covering up the Epstein files<\/a> or why Kash Patel is being called \u201cJ. Edgar Boozer\u201d behind his back<\/a>. <\/p>\n

Is this prosecution frivolous? Yes. Is it an ominous uptick in the administration\u2019s willingness to chill civil liberties and stifle criticism? Also yes. It\u2019s an uncommon intersection: Frivolinous<\/em>. <\/p>\n

(Indictment available on the next page\u2026)<\/em><\/p>\n

Ex-FBI Director James Comey indicted for his \u20188647\u2019 seashell post on Instagram<\/a> [CNBC]<\/p>\n

Earlier<\/strong>: James Comey Enjoys Long Walks On The Beach\u2026 So MAGA Gonna Send Him To El Salvador Prison Camp<\/a>
Kash Patel Says He\u2019s Prioritizing Social Media Mocking Trump Over \u2018Child Sex Predators, Fentanyl Traffickers, Terrorists\u2019<\/a><\/p>\n

\n

\"Headshot\"Joe Patrice<\/a>\u00a0is a senior editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer<\/a>. Feel free to\u00a0email<\/a> any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on\u00a0Twitter<\/a>\u00a0or Bluesky<\/a> if you\u2019re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news. Joe also serves as a Managing Director at RPN Executive Search<\/a>.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/p>\n

The post James Comey Indicted For Playing With Sea Shells In New Low Point For DOJ Integrity<\/a> appeared first on Above the Law<\/a>.<\/p>\n

\"\"
James Comey (Photo by Eric Thayer\/Getty Images)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

It\u2019s said that history repeats itself, first as tragedy, then as farce. When it comes to indictments, the Trump administration\u2019s Department of Justice has streamlined the process by skipping straight to farce and then somehow doing it twice.<\/p>\n

A federal grand jury in the Eastern District of North Carolina has indicted<\/a> former FBI Director James Comey for the high crime of arranging seashells. Specifically, posting a photo to Instagram<\/a> last May of shells on a beach spelling out \u201c86 47,\u201d captioned \u201cCool shell formation on my beach walk.\u201d The indictment levels two counts \u2014 making a threat against the president under 18 U.S.C. \u00a7 871(a), and transmitting a threat in interstate commerce under \u00a7 875(c).<\/p>\n

Because Comey arranges sea shells by the sea shore.<\/p>\n

This indictment arrives following the DOJ\u2019s faceplant late last year, when insurance lawyer Lindsey Halligan attempted to indict Comey for making false statements in the Eastern District of Virginia. Halligan, an illegal appointment with no more authority than a random person off the street \u2014 to use the federal judge\u2019s language \u2014 had been unlawfully appointed<\/a> on top of turning in a fake indictment the full grand jury never voted on<\/a>. This epic screw up resulted in the putative charges against Comey becoming time-barred<\/a>.<\/p>\n

That earlier indictment was bullshit. But at least it was serious-sounding bullshit. Going after Comey for lying about authorizing leaks seems like something a real prosecutor might charge.<\/p>\n

By contrast, the new indictment in the Eastern District of North Carolina lacks such gravitas. The government lodged criminal charges against the former FBI Director for using Prohibition-era slang for tossing an unwelcome guest\u2026 in shell form.<\/p>\n

If this wasn\u2019t stupid enough, the indictment manages to MISSTATE THE LAW in the indictment. Count I describes Comey\u2019s supposed crime as creating an image that \u201ca reasonable recipient who is familiar with the circumstances would interpret as a serious expression of an intent to do harm to the President of the United States.\u201d Any first-year law student who completed Crim Law \u2014 a competence bar EDNC US Attorney Ellis Boyle seemingly failed to clear \u2014 will note that the Supreme Court in Counterman v. Colorado<\/em> (2023), replaced the \u201creasonable recipient\u201d standard, requiring instead a showing the speaker subjectively understood that the statement would be perceived as threatening. Even if the indictment included the proper standard, the government would face an uphill battle since Comey deleted the post the same day, saying that he hadn\u2019t realized \u201c86\u201d had violent connotations \u2014 which it doesn\u2019t really, but whatever \u2014 and apologized. <\/p>\n

The second count, that Comey then distributed the threat, suffers the same defects as the first. <\/p>\n

But the genuinely unhinged part of the indictment appears on the next page. A forfeiture notice seeking \u201cany property, real or personal, which constitutes or is derived from proceeds traceable to the said offense.\u201d<\/p>\n

Do they want the shells? <\/p>\n

As many people learned from the Afroman case<\/a>, law enforcement\u2019s forfeiture powers are extensive and deeply corrupt. The language of the indictment flags the government\u2019s authority to seek \u201csubstitute assets\u201d in the event they can\u2019t actually find the supposedly ill-gotten gains. But even with broad latitude to steal from defendants, it\u2019s hard to imagine what the government expects to get out of James Comey. He\u2019s not a Kardashian \u2014 he\u2019s not paid thousands of dollars for posting viral vacation Instas. Perhaps this forfeiture language is copypasta the government mindlessly drops into every indictment. But given the cynical and petty nature of this Justice Department, it\u2019s hard to see this as anything but a threat to rob the former FBI Director.<\/p>\n

In some ways, it\u2019s fitting that the pursuit of Comey found its way back to the 8647 nonsense. When the image first appeared, current FBI Director (for now!) Kash Patel told America that he was prioritizing<\/a> protecting Trump\u2019s reputation over child sex predators. Or, more accurately, over catching<\/em> child sex predators. That\u2019s a key clarification or else the sentence doesn\u2019t actually make sense, does it?<\/p>\n

At least it\u2019s not all bad news for the Comey family. A federal judge let Maurene Comey\u2019s lawsuit<\/a> go forward. Now the administration is arguing in one court that they would never retaliate against the Comey family, while in another court prosecuting Jim Comey for a beach photo.<\/p>\n

Why did this loser of a case drop now? It\u2019s pretty simple: the DOJ wants to tie this shell picture from a year ago to the White House Correspondents\u2019 Dinner incident<\/a>. The administration needs to bootstrap as much on top of that story as it can before it fades from the headlines and bring attention back to topics like Todd Blanche covering up the Epstein files<\/a> or why Kash Patel is being called \u201cJ. Edgar Boozer\u201d behind his back<\/a>. <\/p>\n

Is this prosecution frivolous? Yes. Is it an ominous uptick in the administration\u2019s willingness to chill civil liberties and stifle criticism? Also yes. It\u2019s an uncommon intersection: Frivolinous<\/em>. <\/p>\n

(Indictment available on the next page\u2026)<\/em><\/p>\n

Ex-FBI Director James Comey indicted for his \u20188647\u2019 seashell post on Instagram<\/a> [CNBC]<\/p>\n

Earlier<\/strong>: James Comey Enjoys Long Walks On The Beach\u2026 So MAGA Gonna Send Him To El Salvador Prison Camp<\/a>
Kash Patel Says He\u2019s Prioritizing Social Media Mocking Trump Over \u2018Child Sex Predators, Fentanyl Traffickers, Terrorists\u2019<\/a><\/p>\n

\n

\"Headshot\"Joe Patrice<\/a>\u00a0is a senior editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer<\/a>. Feel free to\u00a0email<\/a> any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on\u00a0Twitter<\/a>\u00a0or Bluesky<\/a> if you\u2019re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news. Joe also serves as a Managing Director at RPN Executive Search<\/a>.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

1<\/strong> 2<\/a>Next \u00bb<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

James Comey (Photo by Eric Thayer\/Getty Images) It\u2019s said that history repeats itself, first as tragedy, then as farce. When it comes to indictments, the Trump administration\u2019s Department of Justice has streamlined the process by skipping straight to farce and then somehow doing it twice. A federal grand jury in the Eastern District of North […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":149845,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-149844","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-above_the_law"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/xira.com\/p\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Headshot-300x200-ohFxJP.jpg?fit=300%2C200&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/149844","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=149844"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/149844\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/149845"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=149844"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=149844"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/xira.com\/p\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=149844"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}