Recently, I wrote about chaos being part of the job. I spent time on the idea that people are not predictable and that no amount of legal training fully prepares you for the human side of in-house practice.
I have been thinking more about that since. Specifically, I have thought about what happens when you are in a room full of people with competing priorities, elevated stress levels, and personalities that do not naturally align, and you are the one expected to move things toward a resolution.
The instinct is to push, to get to the answer, to close the loop, and to move on to the next thing on a list that never gets shorter. I understand that instinct because I have been there, and I have done that. I have since learned, however, that pushing too hard, too fast can do more damage than the problem you are trying to solve.
Patience Is Strategy
Patience is not about slowing down for the sake of slowing down. It is about recognizing that not every situation resolves on your timeline, and forcing it can make things worse.
You are working with people in different roles, under different pressures, carrying different concerns into the same conversation. Consider this:
A vendor relationship has gone sideways. The head of procurement needs to know whether to pull the contract. The unit leader who chose the vendor is worried about what this means for the project timeline and whether the decision reflects poorly on her. The CFO wants to understand the financial exposure. They are all sitting in the same room, looking at the same problem, and hearing it through completely different filters.
The only way to know what each person actually needs from you is to slow down long enough to read the room before you start directing it.
Step By Step
When a situation is complicated and the people involved are stressed, the fastest way to lose the room is to jump to the end. You may already see the answer. It does not matter. The people with you have not. Walk them through it step by step. Lay out the facts as you understand them.
Identify what you know and what you still need to confirm. Outline the options and explain the risks of each one. Then let the room absorb it before you press for a decision.
This is not hand-holding. This is how you bring people along so that when the decision is made, they own it. Decisions that people do not feel part of are the ones that go sideways later.
Watch Your Language
I do not mean profanity. I mean tone, word choice, and pacing. When the room is tense, every word you use lands differently than it would on a calm day.
A phrase like “that is not going to work” may be accurate, but it may also shut down a conversation you needed to keep open. “Here is what concerns me about that approach” gets you to the same place without closing the door.
You can be direct without being blunt. You can be firm without being dismissive. You can set a deadline without making it sound like a threat.
The goal is not to soften your message. The goal is to deliver it in a way that the person on the other end can actually hear. If your language creates defensiveness, you have made your own job harder. You have not made progress. You have created a new obstacle.
Stay Above The Fray
There will be tension in the room that has nothing to do with you. Turf battles between departments, a manager who feels undermined, an executive who is frustrated about something that happened before you walked in. Old grudges sometimes play out in new conversations.
None of that is yours to absorb.
Your job is to see it, understand it, and navigate around it. You are not there to fix it, to take sides, or to let it pull you into a dynamic that compromises your ability to give objective guidance.
I have watched lawyers get drawn into the politics of a situation because the energy in the room was so strong that it felt like they had to pick a lane. You do not have to pick a lane. You are the one person in the room whose value depends on staying above it.
That does not mean you are detached. It means you are disciplined about where you put your attention. You are there for the company, not for any one person’s agenda.
Be The Voice Of Reason
Every room has a temperature. Some days it is measured. Some days it is running hot. When it is running hot, someone has to bring it down. That someone is sometimes you.
This is not about being the calmest person in the room for the sake of appearances. It is about recognizing that when emotions are elevated, decisions get worse. People commit to positions they have not thought through. They escalate when they should pause. They say things in emails that create problems six months later.
Your job in those moments is to reframe the question, pull the conversation back to the facts, and focus the room on what actually needs to happen next. You are not there to absorb the energy. You are there to deflect it and channel what remains toward a result that benefits the company.
Clear, Firm, And Patient Are Not Contradictions
You can be patient and still set deadlines. You can take things step by step and still move with urgency. You can give people space to process and still hold the line on what needs to happen and when.
Patience, in this context, means you are deliberate about how you get to the result. You are not just focused on the destination. You are paying attention to who is in the room, what they are carrying, and how to move them forward without leaving unnecessary damage in the wake.
The best in-house lawyers I know get to the right answer, and they bring people with them. They do not bulldoze through a meeting and wonder later why no one followed through. They take extra time, ask the extra question, listen for the thing that is not being said, and move the team toward a plan to solve the problem.
Power Through, Protect The People
At the end of the day, you have a job to do. There is a result the company needs, and it is your responsibility to help get there. Patience does not change that obligation. It changes how you meet it.
You can power through to the result and still be thoughtful about the people in the path. You can minimize collateral damage without compromising the outcome. You can be the person who got it done, and the person who did it without leaving a trail of bruised relationships behind.
That is the long game. The deal you close today is not the last deal. The employee situation you resolve this week is not the last one. The people you work with today are the same people you will need tomorrow. How you move through the hard moments determines whether they trust you enough to bring you in early next time or wait until it is too late.
Patience is not passive. It is one of the most deliberate things you can do.
Lisa Lang is an accomplished in-house lawyer and thought leader dedicated to empowering fellow legal professionals. She offers insights and resources tailored for in-house counsel through her website and blog, Why This, Not That™ (www.lawyerlisalang.com). Lisa actively engages with the legal community via LinkedIn, sharing her expertise and fostering meaningful connections. You can reach her at lisa@lawyerlisalang.com, connect on LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/lawyerlisalang/).
The post Patience Is Not Passive appeared first on Above the Law.
Recently, I wrote about chaos being part of the job. I spent time on the idea that people are not predictable and that no amount of legal training fully prepares you for the human side of in-house practice.
I have been thinking more about that since. Specifically, I have thought about what happens when you are in a room full of people with competing priorities, elevated stress levels, and personalities that do not naturally align, and you are the one expected to move things toward a resolution.
The instinct is to push, to get to the answer, to close the loop, and to move on to the next thing on a list that never gets shorter. I understand that instinct because I have been there, and I have done that. I have since learned, however, that pushing too hard, too fast can do more damage than the problem you are trying to solve.
Patience Is Strategy
Patience is not about slowing down for the sake of slowing down. It is about recognizing that not every situation resolves on your timeline, and forcing it can make things worse.
You are working with people in different roles, under different pressures, carrying different concerns into the same conversation. Consider this:
A vendor relationship has gone sideways. The head of procurement needs to know whether to pull the contract. The unit leader who chose the vendor is worried about what this means for the project timeline and whether the decision reflects poorly on her. The CFO wants to understand the financial exposure. They are all sitting in the same room, looking at the same problem, and hearing it through completely different filters.
The only way to know what each person actually needs from you is to slow down long enough to read the room before you start directing it.
Step By Step
When a situation is complicated and the people involved are stressed, the fastest way to lose the room is to jump to the end. You may already see the answer. It does not matter. The people with you have not. Walk them through it step by step. Lay out the facts as you understand them.
Identify what you know and what you still need to confirm. Outline the options and explain the risks of each one. Then let the room absorb it before you press for a decision.
This is not hand-holding. This is how you bring people along so that when the decision is made, they own it. Decisions that people do not feel part of are the ones that go sideways later.
Watch Your Language
I do not mean profanity. I mean tone, word choice, and pacing. When the room is tense, every word you use lands differently than it would on a calm day.
A phrase like “that is not going to work” may be accurate, but it may also shut down a conversation you needed to keep open. “Here is what concerns me about that approach” gets you to the same place without closing the door.
You can be direct without being blunt. You can be firm without being dismissive. You can set a deadline without making it sound like a threat.
The goal is not to soften your message. The goal is to deliver it in a way that the person on the other end can actually hear. If your language creates defensiveness, you have made your own job harder. You have not made progress. You have created a new obstacle.
Stay Above The Fray
There will be tension in the room that has nothing to do with you. Turf battles between departments, a manager who feels undermined, an executive who is frustrated about something that happened before you walked in. Old grudges sometimes play out in new conversations.
None of that is yours to absorb.
Your job is to see it, understand it, and navigate around it. You are not there to fix it, to take sides, or to let it pull you into a dynamic that compromises your ability to give objective guidance.
I have watched lawyers get drawn into the politics of a situation because the energy in the room was so strong that it felt like they had to pick a lane. You do not have to pick a lane. You are the one person in the room whose value depends on staying above it.
That does not mean you are detached. It means you are disciplined about where you put your attention. You are there for the company, not for any one person’s agenda.
Be The Voice Of Reason
Every room has a temperature. Some days it is measured. Some days it is running hot. When it is running hot, someone has to bring it down. That someone is sometimes you.
This is not about being the calmest person in the room for the sake of appearances. It is about recognizing that when emotions are elevated, decisions get worse. People commit to positions they have not thought through. They escalate when they should pause. They say things in emails that create problems six months later.
Your job in those moments is to reframe the question, pull the conversation back to the facts, and focus the room on what actually needs to happen next. You are not there to absorb the energy. You are there to deflect it and channel what remains toward a result that benefits the company.
Clear, Firm, And Patient Are Not Contradictions
You can be patient and still set deadlines. You can take things step by step and still move with urgency. You can give people space to process and still hold the line on what needs to happen and when.
Patience, in this context, means you are deliberate about how you get to the result. You are not just focused on the destination. You are paying attention to who is in the room, what they are carrying, and how to move them forward without leaving unnecessary damage in the wake.
The best in-house lawyers I know get to the right answer, and they bring people with them. They do not bulldoze through a meeting and wonder later why no one followed through. They take extra time, ask the extra question, listen for the thing that is not being said, and move the team toward a plan to solve the problem.
Power Through, Protect The People
At the end of the day, you have a job to do. There is a result the company needs, and it is your responsibility to help get there. Patience does not change that obligation. It changes how you meet it.
You can power through to the result and still be thoughtful about the people in the path. You can minimize collateral damage without compromising the outcome. You can be the person who got it done, and the person who did it without leaving a trail of bruised relationships behind.
That is the long game. The deal you close today is not the last deal. The employee situation you resolve this week is not the last one. The people you work with today are the same people you will need tomorrow. How you move through the hard moments determines whether they trust you enough to bring you in early next time or wait until it is too late.
Patience is not passive. It is one of the most deliberate things you can do.
Lisa Lang is an accomplished in-house lawyer and thought leader dedicated to empowering fellow legal professionals. She offers insights and resources tailored for in-house counsel through her website and blog, Why This, Not That™ (www.lawyerlisalang.com). Lisa actively engages with the legal community via LinkedIn, sharing her expertise and fostering meaningful connections. You can reach her at lisa@lawyerlisalang.com, connect on LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/lawyerlisalang/).
The post Patience Is Not Passive appeared first on Above the Law.
