Five Simple Tips to Survive Your Annual Office Holiday Party The office holiday party is here, threatening to send your anxiety into new realms of oh-my-golly. And you have to go. You, an introverted Gen-Z remote worker who lives in Teams and gamed your video background for eight months, now have to put on pants and walk […]
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Five Simple Tips to Survive Your Annual Office Holiday Party

The office holiday party is here, threatening to send your anxiety into new realms of oh-my-golly. And you have to go. You, an introverted Gen-Z remote worker who lives in Teams and gamed your video background for eight months, now have to put on pants and walk into a rented event space half a block from the office, drink something with cinnamon and prosecco, and deal with Steve who has mistletoe duct taped to his forehead.

This is your office holiday party, the annual Christmas bash, your corporate “seasonal event.” And we’re gonna hold your hand the whole time.

1. You Have to Go to Your Office Holiday Party

Seriously, you can’t wimp out or call off sick. (Unless you really are sick, then, of course, you have to stay home because you’re a decent human being, not an insane sack of virulent germs that will make everyone else sick and ruin their vacation.) Even if attendance isn’t mandatory, you have to go for the stupidest reason: Your senior partner planned it and she’s anxious about pulling it off. She’s invested in the one true metric of success — attendance. When you show up and put yourself out there, you’re doing her a solid and making her look good. Which, of course, is not your job, and I’m not suggesting you can leverage that in any way. This isn’t “Suits,” Marsha. I’m saying that if your boss is proud of her office holiday party, then she’ll be in a good mood for at least a couple of weeks, which is good for everybody.

Also, you have to go because people need to know you’re real. I know that sounds weird. Of course, you’re real. AI isn’t that good. Yet.

What I mean is a lot of these people know you as a tiny face in a tiny box on the bottom left of their tiny screen. In a lot of ways, you aren’t real to them — just as they aren’t entirely real to you. Showing up IRL lets people shake your hand and slap you on the back and gives you the opportunity to do the same. Virtual camaraderie is fine, but building true rapport requires a little skin-on-skin. Which you can only do if you’re in the room. On that note ….

2. How to Walk Into Your Office Holiday Party

This is maybe the most worrisome fear of mingling. Worse than small talk, worse than forgetting someone’s name. For you, the walking-inner, entering the room is a huge deal. The mind recognizes how big a deal this is, so it tries its best to support the idea by making you think (worry, agonize) that it’s a big deal for everyone else in the room too. You’ve probably entertained one or two recurring nightmare fantasies where you watch a mental movie of yourself Frank Sinatra-ing into a crowded office party. The record scratches, the conversation stops, and all eyes turn to judge you and the scarf you overthought. Paralysis! Full shutdown! You the deer. Them the headlights.

In that moment, in the spotlight, what do you even do?

Relax. Nobody, and I mean nobody, even knows you’re there. Every single individual in attendance is locked into whatever forced conversation they’ve just managed to wedge “can we circle back …” into.

However, walking into a room is still a thing—for you. You have to actually do it. You have to pull that big door open, you have to figure out where to put your coat and you have to locate the bar. These are office Christmas party imperatives, but preceding them is the simplest of actions: Just walk in.

How to Walk into a Room as the Conquering Hero

Just walk in. There’s no ritual here, no tip, no hack. Just walk in.
Surveil. Walk into the room for a reasonable distance then stop and take stock. Surveil. Recon. Quickly map the following landmarks:
- Where are people putting coats and bags?
- Where is your boss?
- Where is the one person you know you can start an easy conversation with?
- Where is the bar?
Do those things:
- Drop your coat.
- Shake your boss’s hand and tell her the party’s a raging success.
- Smack Gene on the back and say something like, “Working hard or hardly working?” or whatever insipid phrase works for you.
- Say: “What are you drinking, you old scoundrel?” Then go to the bar and top him up; get yourself whatever poison you prefer, even if that poison is perfectly healthy and made mostly from carrot juice and contains not one smidgen of booze.
- Drop into the conversation and relax.
Next steps: There are no next steps. It’s a party, and strategy is not a requisite. Relax, make bad jokes and enjoy yourself.

Pro Tip:

Adopt absolute old-school swagger. Walk in, sweep off your coat and say to no one in particular, “Is this a work party, or did somebody die!?”

3. How to Approach a Small Group of Co-workers and Not Explode

Let’s say Gene isn’t there and you walk into a party where you don’t know anyone in real life. Everyone there is distributed evenly around the room in little conversation knots. How, in the name of Dale Carnegie, do you wedge yourself into one of those conversations?

There is an established science for approaching a group. But let me reassure you: People in that group are fine with you adding yourself. This is an office holiday party—nobody owns the space. If you want, just step right into the gap between Gary from accounting and Rhonda from ops.

However, there is some etiquette involved.

Read the non-verbal clues.
- If they are in a tightly sealed circle, all hunched over and whispering, pick another group. They’ve circled the wagons and you’re not getting in.
- If they are in a loose clench, not talking, and everybody’s looking in different directions like some bad band photo, they’re not really a group. Step up.
Say “Excuse me,” very quietly, or something like, “I’m just gonna slip in here,” or “IS THIS SPOT TAKEN WAYNE? IS IT?”
Then don’t say anything. You don’t know where the conversation is. Is someone talking? Did someone just say something important? Did Rhonda risk telling a really stupid joke, and no one’s laughing? No matter what the conversation is when you walk up, you’re not part of it. Be cool and take the measure of the group. Wait until you know for sure what they’re talking about before you chime in.

Pro Tip:

Here’s a boomer trick. Sometimes, a loosely defined group standing in awkward silence needs a catalyst. Be that seed crystal, Barb. Get in there and launch into your pet theory about why “The Mandalorian” is the best comedy on television. That group will come together around you because you broke the bubble of awkwardness. You’re the frikkin’ hero here, Barb. Revel in your time.

4. Drink Responsibly at Your Office Holiday Party

It’s an office party. We all know this is a time outside of time—a place outside of space. What happens at the office holiday party stays in Vegas.

Except, no, it doesn’t.

Do you know why you know about Stan from Real Estate tearing off his shirt and yelling, “I’m the captain now!” at last year’s party? Because he did and everyone still talks about it. There are pictures. Also, Stan’s just not used to drinking and overdid it, which could happen to anyone. It’s a damn shame there are pictures. But who are we to judge?

Your office culture dictates the better wisdom here. Maybe your firm is a three-martini lunch firm. Maybe your firm is dedicated to sobriety. The prudent path is one of moderation. Yes, it’s a holiday bash, and the boss put together a banger of a free bar, but proceed with caution. Despite HR’s event-management encouragement to “relax and enjoy yourself” at the holiday party, you are still at work. Drink or don’t drink. What matters is that you don’t end up replacing Stan as the story of the year.

Pro Tip:

Here’s another boomer trick. Order a Coke with a lime (or Diet Pepsi if you must). It looks like a Cuba Libre, so your boss sees you having a drink (yes, it matters to her), but you’re not.

Pro Tip 2:

And here’s a Gen-Z tip: Stop worrying about it. You don’t have to drink to have a good time. You don’t have to booze-signal to avoid judgment. You do you.

5. To Get a Wingman, Be a Wingman

Use the buddy system to overcome solo party awkwardness. If you have a solid work friend, team up to watch each other’s backs. Share wingman duties according to the situation. Is your buddy slipping into a discussion about politics? Divert the whole thing with a joke, then bring up a new topic. Are you stuck in an interminable conversation with Steve about parking restrictions? Signal your wingman. She’ll swoop in, grab you by the elbow, look at Steve, and say, ‘Can I borrow him for a minute?’ It’s a game-changer.

If you don’t have a wingman, then be a wingman. See the new guy hovering by herself near the copy machine/bar? Notice how worried she looks? That’s because she’s wondering how she’s going to survive a party where she doesn’t know the culture or the people. You, madam, can be her savior. Just walk right up to her, introduce yourself, and say something like, “I’m not gonna make it through this ridiculous shindig alone — want to buddy up?”

For the rest of her life, she will remember that moment and your graceful and generous act of selfless bravery. (OK, not selfless because you’re getting a buddy out of it, but still.) Imagine if someone had done that for you so many years ago when you stiff-walked awkwardly toward the copy machine/bar? Step up. Be the hero.

Pro Tip:

That was the pro tip.

Even More Pro Party-Going Tips

How to Shake Hands in Two Easy Steps

Solid advice that covers all the worst handshakes and how to deal with them.

“Toasts: What to Say When You Have Something to Say”

Three kinds of toasts you should always have in your pocket.

“Four Pre-Holiday Networking Tips for Introverts”

Stop questioning your own intuition and just be. Accept yourself just as you are, and know it’s OK to be an introvert.

Navigating the Professional Holiday Party

If you spill something on yourself, excuse yourself as you quickly move to the lavatory to blot and try to mitigate the damage with cold water. If, heaven forbid, you spill on somebody else, do not touch that person. Immediately apologize, offer to do something to help, like getting them a new plate, and arrange to pay the dry cleaner’s bill.